Bait and Catch: For Dozens of Young Women Recruited Online, Dreams of Sailing Adventures Turned to Nightmares at Sea.

New York, NY

By: MLAA

* This article is the first in a series. Some Accounts Have Been Translated From French.*

They found the opportunities via Facebook groups and websites like CrewBay.com and Findacrew.net. They were all looking for the same thing: an unforgettable adventure as a volunteer crew member on a cruising sailboat, sailing from island to island or crossing an ocean, hoisting sails, catching fish, and living a dream.

     The terms of the gigs varied, but generally the berths were unpaid. The crew members were expected to help the Captain sail and maintain the boat, and to share food expenses in exchange for a place to sleep on a sailboat traveling the world.

     But for dozens of young women from around the globe who were recruited by captains of cruising sailboats via these online platforms, their dreams of adventure turned into horrific nightmares when they found themselves trapped at sea with sexually predatory captains whose criminal objectives seemed premeditated.

     Some of the women MLAA has spoken with were raped aboard the sailboats. Some were raped multiple times. Others found themselves trapped aboard a boat, in a living hell with a man who they later found out was a convicted rapist and serial sexual predator.

     After being lured halfway across the world by a sailboat Captain she met online, Ella Zahav was sexually assaulted by the Captain on her first night aboard the boat. After escaping, she decided to start a Facebook group to warn other women about the man who assaulted her, and about the potential dangers they faced when seeking to volunteer aboard sailboats.

Ella Zahav's Facebook group now has thousands of members, and has collected dozens of written accounts of sexual abuse from women who were sexually harassed, assaulted, and abused after being lured aboard sailboats as crew members. While all of the testimonials so far collected by her group are from women, it is a danger that young men also likely face.

     Ella Zahav and the authors of some of those collected testimonials have agreed to allow MLAA to publish their stories in order to help spread awareness of the dangers facing women and men seeking to become volunteer crew members aboard cruising sailboats.

In the future we will publish more of these testimonies, and we will also publish stories on the role played by online platforms in facilitating this maritime sexual abuse.

1) Never Sail Alone. I Learned the Hard Way.

     “A,” 21 years old: I am a 21-year-old young woman, very jovial and sometimes a little naive. Via the Facebook group “Entraide equipiers Polynésie,” which is a group where people can find opportunities to crew on cruising sailboats, I found a boat that was going to be sailing to the Leeward Islands for 3 weeks.

     The Captain was almost 70 years old, and had been recommended by two of my relatives as well as by a crew member who had sailed with him a few months earlier. Before boarding the sailboat as a crew member, I felt that I had taken the necessary precautions and that I knew the risks.

     This first week aboard the sailboat was extraordinary. The crew member who had recommended the Captain to me was still aboard, and the three of us got along very well. But once that crew member left, things started to get complicated.

     The Captain always remained nice and was never verbally aggressive. But on the contrary, he was too nice. Too many compliments, too many innuendos on my “perfection,” which he said would have made him fall in love with me if he had been younger. He also began to talk to me about his sexual conquests and adventures. So far it was nothing too mean, although it began to make me more than uncomfortable.

      And then one morning he arrived at my cabin with a sex toy. It was a gift for me, he said. “I offer one to all of my friends,” the Captain told me.  But to me, it was deeply weird.

     But I said to myself, “hey, despite everything, in a few days another crew member will come aboard, so everything will be fine.”

     Indeed another crew member did arrive and she stayed 5 days with us. During that time everything returned to normal. Then one morning she left the boat, and from the moment I was again alone with the Captain, his inappropriate behavior started again.

     During the afternoon, while we were on the dinghy, he said to me, “I love you, I want you, I want to caress you, to do you good, to make you happy, at least let me give you a massage, or else give you a toy again, knowing that you're having fun gives me pleasure too. Don't worry, your boyfriend won't know. And please stop hiding your buttocks all day. Stay in your swimsuit, I like to see your ass.” He then began to caress my buttocks while I was driving the dinghy back to the boat.

     I was so shocked and scared, but back on the sailboat I managed to have a calm discussion with him about his behavior. But even after an apology from him, I had a lump in my stomach, a tight heart, and the urge to cry in his presence. I managed to ask him to disembark me as soon as possible, and I spent the rest of my time aboard the boat locked in my cabin while staying in touch with other girls in Ella Zahav's Facebook group. That Facebook group is dedicated to women who wish to sail safely in French Polynesia.

     Eventually I was able to leave the sailboat. I know that much worse could have happened to me on that boat, and that many other women have been through much worse while crewing on sailboats. My message to women who want to crew on a sailboat is this: NEVER think that you are safe onboard a sailboat.

     Even if the Captain has been recommended, do not sail alone, please. Before my experience, I had been advised to avoid it myself. I only half listened and did not heed the advice. I hope my testimony will convince you not to make the same mistake I made. And above all, if something like this happens to you, or has happened to you, remember that it is NOT your fault.

       Thanks for reading.

2) Going Alone Was A Big Mistake

“V,” 35 years old: I had an experience in June 2020 with a French captain, L, skipper from mainland France who was spending a year in the West Indies and then returning to the South of France by crossing the Atlantic.

I found the opportunity to sail on his boat through a Facebook group that matches volunteer crew members with Captains who have sailboats and are looking for crew. He was looking for crew members to cross the Atlantic with him.

I left alone with him on the crossing, and things went very badly. He had an extremely problematic personality that clearly resulted in dangerousness.

Before I joined his sailboat, I had some sailing experience, possessed skills, and I wanted to learn more and to share the experience of crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

L gave me sailing lessons, but he had a very extreme way of expressing things. He acted all the time in a very authoritarian, rigid, maniacal, and nearly paranoid manner. He was constantly yelling at me for ridiculous things, like not putting a spoon in the right place, or about the toilet seat. Every day I had a little less freedom regarding my life on the boat.

After a while, I was no longer allowed to listen to music or allowed to charge my computer. He yelled at me every day at the same time. After a while, I could no longer take his abuse, and I withdrew completely. I spent four days not talking and I stopped eating. In response, he threw things on the ground, yelled at himself, yelled at me. After a while I had to yell back at him, which required me to leave my comfort zone. Luckily, I had an Iridium satellite phone that allowed me to contact my family.

He began exposing himself to me, walking around naked, even though he had explicitly agreed he would not do that before I boarded the boat. One day it suddenly occurred to me that we were in the middle of the ocean, and that at any moment he could knock me down and rape me. So I began walking around with a knife in my pocket at all times.

It was a horrible experience. But fortunately, I was neither sexually assaulted nor raped. But I had to endure his violence, hide my personality, give up having an opinion, give up sharing, talking, and eating too. I was forced to constantly dodge the moments of yelling, rejecting his abusive judgments, and trying to laugh at his despotic reactions.

Afterwards, I thought about suing him for what he put me through. But alone, I didn't have the strength.

It is very important for us girls to have some kind of « safety code of conduct » for these arrangements, because it happens too quickly.

Going alone with him was a big mistake.]

3) I Spent 3 Weeks Aboard a Catamaran and I Never Felt Safe.

“T,” 24 years old: I spent several weeks in French Polynesia aboard P.'s sailing catamaran when I was 24, and I never felt safe. I found the opportunity via a local sailing Facebook group, “Équipiers et Entraide voiles de Polynésie,” which matches crew members with Captains who have sailboats.

    There are several different factors that help to explain the discomfort and unease that I felt, but they all have to do with the behavior of the Captain.

     First, I never met the Captain before boarding the boat and did not have a chance to get to know him, because he wanted a very quick departure after I arrived. We only talked on the phone. And I would later learn that on the phone he lied to me about his age. On the phone he told me that he was 48 years old (“twice my age”). But he was really 65.

     His behavior towards me would eventually leave me in tears and panicking, and begging him to let me off the boat early.

     He began to talk about sex a lot, and made it clear to me that he had a lot of sexual experience and that it was a shame that I did not take advantage his experience. He told me that he sometimes got naked “just to swim,” which he did. But by the end, he was often naked on the boat as well.

     Once, he crept up behind me and kissed me on my neck. I hadn't seen him approaching. After he kissed me, I told him never to do that again. His only response was “you're the only girl who doesn't like my kisses.”

     I was afraid he would attack me in my sleep, and he seemed to sense this fear. So he decided to reassure me that he didn't intend to attack me by telling me, “come and take a nap next to me naked. You'll see I won't do anything to you. Well, unless you jump on me!”

     His behavior was outrageous, and made me very uncomfortable and afraid. Because of this, I told him that I wanted us to finish the trip earlier than planned. In response he told me that was not possible, because that was not what was planned and because it doesn't happen like that on a sailboat. This was despite the fact that I was in tears and obviously panicking when I asked him to let me off the boat early.

     It was a very scary situation. After I got off the boat I did not file a complaint with the police, because I really just wanted to leave the experience behind me. But if there are people who have had similar experiences with the same Captain, then I am ready to file a complaint against him to support them.

4) I am a Victim of a Narcissistic, Perverted Sailboat Captain

     “E,” 22 years old: I recently spent over a month on a boat in Tahiti with a man in his 60s. This man owns a trimaran and recruits girls to come sail and live with him via the Workaway site, which thankfully banned him after I reported him.

     This man calls himself seductive and he plays on his charm. He talks about sexuality very easily–too easily. One thing he doesn’t tell you before you get to the boat is that he is a nudist, and lives naked on his boat, and sometimes wearing only a small sarong.

     He knows how to highlight you, how to make you feel good about yourself, and he compliments you every day. This way of being speaks to girls, it makes you dream, he’s very talkative, leaving no room for the other person's words. He’s sure of himself, very imbued with his own person. You don't know why, but you somehow become attached to him and enjoy his company. It is the typical profile of a narcissistic pervert.

     His approach technique: One evening on his boat, he put on an act for me. He served me dinner and then an aperitif. Before this night, he had not even moved the shadow of a finger towards me, but after several drinks he offered me a massage, which I foolishly accepted.

     As a result, I fell asleep in my chair. And a question that remains in my mind is, “did he put something in my drink?

     In a little bit of a daze, I got up and decided to go to sleep on the trampoline. He accompanied me and stayed with me. I sank fast into Morpheus' arms. And again, I can't rule out that something was put into my drink. When I woke up in the middle of the night I felt a hand caressing my private parts. I changed position and pretended not to have seen or felt anything.

     Foolishly, we accept these kinds of things, and we tell ourselves that it does not matter.

     There would be two more attempts after that one. You say to yourself now, “Why didn’t she just leave?”

     Because girls, when you're with this kind of person you don't even have the time or the energy to think for yourself. He does everything to make you depend on him, and while I was with him, I didn't even realize that I was under his control, or that I was a victim of him.

     There was no rape, other than this sexual touching. We generally lived in his house with his family and he was very busy and had little time to give. But now that he lives on his boat, he is a dangerous man. And that is why I took the personal risk of denouncing him on Ella Zahav's Facebook Group as a precaution and to ensure that he doesn't do worse to other women.

     Now that I'm no longer with him and have taken the necessary step back, I realize that I had literally been manipulated by him. So I decided to tell him how I felt, and what did he say to me?

     First, he pretended not to UNDERSTAND what I wanted to talk about, which is typical. But then the jackpot: “You told me you liked it,” he said.

     False! I did not like it. Narcissistic perverts never take responsibility and will always try to turn the situation around on you. They are very good at it, so don't let yourself get carried away!

     And above all, do not doubt yourself. If you think you are in this kind of situation, first FLEE . And second DENOUNCE them.

     If you don’t, they will start again with someone else.

5) It almost happened to me, too.

“M,” 33 years old: I was working on a small sailing yacht in the south Pacific that did charters. The customers had just left the day before, and we were waiting on our next group.

There were only three of us onboard, and I was the only woman.

One of the men was the new skipper, who had only arrived that morning. He spent the day drinking, and I could tell he was trouble. That night I trusted my intuition and double-locked myself inside of the guests’ cabin, because I did not trust him.

Drunk, he spent the whole night knocking on doors and trying to find me. I didn’t sleep the entire night. I was supposed to sail with them to Fiji, New Zealand, Asia and then Europe. At that time in my life it was the dream trip. But after that night of terror I cancelled everything, left the boat in the morning, and flew back to Papeete, Tahiti, in French Polynesia.

That was in 2011. 10 years ago, now. And I haven’t chartered since.

Some people I see online don’t believe that these things happen. But before saying that it's rare, or that it “doesn't happen here”, open your eyes and ears wide.

Look around you. Ask questions.

Silences often carry messages.

Other messages end in deafening howls.

6) Flabbergasted at the extent of sexual assault harassment in the world of co-cruising

“L,” 28 years old:

(Context: The other crew member is 24 years old. The captain (X), 62 years old.)

I contacted X following his post on a crewing website where he published his ad looking for a crew to charter a Catamaran from France to Belgium.

We exchanged a few messages and then proceeded to a phone call before confirming our respective wish to navigate together. My main concern was to make sure that other crew would be present, to ensure my safety as a young woman traveling alone. He confirmed that another crew member (a young Frenchman like me) would be boarding at the same time: I was reassured. I also had a good feeling with the captain.

We agreed to meet on the boat the following Tuesday, for a departure on Wednesday. I was very excited about this experience. On D-Day, the meeting goes well. The captain seems relaxed and the other crew is very nice.

The captain tells us that our neighbours from the boat next door, whom he met a little earlier, are coming for a drink. He tells us that we are free to drink alcohol as long as we are moored. A good evening ahead!

However, very quickly, I noticed that our captain drinks one glass of wine after the other at a steady pace. His bottle of rosé is quickly finished, he then starts the wine bag-in-box. He quickly gets tipsy. He talks and laughs loudly, monopolizes the discussion, enters into long monologues about the care he takes of the safety of his crew members (speech which clashes a little with his blood alcohol level at that time).

As the evening progresses, he is also very emboldened with the other captain (a female). He is getting closer physically. He grabs her face and kisses her heavily on the cheek multiple times. As she prepares to sit down, he spanks her. He runs his hands behind her back.

On her side, she does not make such gestures towards him, but does not reject any of his. She is a priori ok with what is happening. All well and good.

The vibe on the boat makes me feel uneasy. My captain has installed a ribald atmosphere there that makes me uncomfortable. We, the crew of the 2 boats, are also embarrassed by the explicit physical rapprochement that takes place in front of us. Finally, the game I am watching tells me about the fact that his marital status (he had told us that he was married) does not prevent him from seeking rapprochement with other women. I take note of that.

The next day, we cast off. Our captain has recovered his sobriety. His normal attitude back, on the whole pleasant. I regain my enthusiasm.

At the end of the afternoon, as soon as we are moored in the port and the stewardship has been taken care of, our captain takes out his wine Bag-in-Box.

Quickly, his attitude changes again. He is now getting heated when he hears of certain subjects, such as when I mention the fact that my father asks me about the non-updating of our GPS location (normally consultable in real time via a system provided by the company of the captain) since 11 am. I then undergo a 20-minute sermon on the fact that he is not accountable to our parents, and that he does not want them to interfere with our life on board. I am shocked by this sudden and disproportionate vehemence.

As the aperitif progresses, the saucy remarks and jokes are back. He makes more and more comments of a sexual nature.

He tells us, for example, that his wife no longer wants to have sex with him. That he has a mistress in a nearby port, and that she keeps sending him messages so that they can see each other, because she wants to be "fucked tonight". He laughs as he tells us this, ignoring our barely hidden embarrassment.

He also returns to his rapprochement the day before with the female captain. He wants to share his analysis with us: according to him, given her attitude, this woman is “thirsty for sex”. He will repeat it to us several times in the evening.

His words make me more and more uncomfortable. I let him know, several times.

This makes him angry. He tells me that he has already had problems with other young women (here you go), and that he must clear up any doubts about the problems that I could create for him.

He wants to make it clear that there is no "sexual tension" between us. He has 2 main arguments: if his words make me uncomfortable, it's because I don't have a sense of humor. Besides, I am "the age of his daughters", which makes it quite obvious that he has no sexual thoughts against me.

His justifications do not reassure me at all. And this monologue, which will last for a good 20 minutes, and during which the expression "sexual tension" will be used every 3 sentences or so, by a stranger of my father's age, only increases my anxiety.

During this evening, he also begins to impose a certain physical closeness on me. When we are standing, and he is talking to me, he stands much closer to me than normal. When hilariously phrasing his "saucy jokes", he puts his hand on my shoulders. When he wants to pass behind me, he does not hesitate to put his hands on my hips as if to shift me. At some point in the evening when a song he particularly likes is playing, he takes my hand and leads me into a forced dance.

As he talks about his sex life again, it is my teammate who this time asks him to stop. It is his turn to find himself castigated: he is referred to as a "pussy".

The atmosphere is more than heavy. The attitude of our captain is increasingly hostile and intimidating. My teammate and I are deploying considerable energy to take it upon ourselves and prevent the situation from degenerating.

I am in such a state of nervousness, that I find it difficult to look at him now, for fear of letting my thoughts show through and provoking his anger. I have my nose in my plate. He notices this and aggressively demands that I look him in the eyes. I find myself forced, for the rest of the evening, to stare into his, otherwise I will be violently reprimanded.

I have to look him in the eye even when he wants to come back for the umpteenth time on the misunderstanding that there could be about a potential "sexual tension" between us. He tells me that given the problems he has had in the past, he will have me sign a document in which I agree not to take legal action against him.

At 9 p.m., we pretended to be very tired from our first day of sailing, to express the wish to go to bed. Unexpectedly, he is not holding us back. We each disappear into our respective cabins. 5 minutes later, he informs us, in a playful and amused voice, that his mistress will pick him up.

He descends into our hull and approaches my cabin: he offers to leave me his hot water bottle, as I was cold last night. I thank him, and wish him a good evening. Unfortunately, he does not go upstairs. But approaches and stops in the frame of my cabin. He launches a small-talk conversation, which clashes with his outbursts of the evening. With his imposing stature, his hands resting on the top of the door, I can no longer see the hallway. Nor my teammate's cabin, which faces mine. My heart is beating fast. I feel oppressed. I am scared.

After 5 minutes of what he probably experienced, blinded by alcohol, as a "cheerful chat", he decides to go back upstairs.

I meet my teammate's gaze across the hall. I burst into tears. But of course in silence, so as not to be overheard by the captain.

Once the captain has left, I tell my teammate that I want to leave. Just as disgusted by the course of the evening, he tells me that he is leaving with me.

The first train from this town is at 5.45am. The captain must return in the early morning. Our cabins are locked. So we decide to stay on the boat, but set an alarm clock at 4:30 a.m. to head for the station.

Our captain finally returns at midnight. I'll spare you the details, but I'll let you imagine the almost sleepless night, then the escape from the boat at 4:30 a.m., fear in your stomach at the idea of waking up the captain.

It's been 5 days since I came back from this experience.

A police officer with whom I have spoken since confirmed to me that these facts “constitute harassment and sexual assault”. That these facts "are punishable" and that I am "legitimate to file a complaint".

I am still partly flabbergasted.

Stunned by the behaviour of this captain, and the fact that he sincerely seems not to understand how his words and his attitude are abnormal and serious.

Finally, flabbergasted to discover the extent of the phenomenon in the world of co-cruising, and the little means to fight and prevent it put in place by most crewing sites until today to deal with it.

Based on my experience, I would advise young women the following:

-Do not embark alone with a captain.

-Whatever the configuration of the crew (my experience shows that captains can get tough even in the presence of third parties), seek opinions/feedback from former teammates on the captain with whom you plan to embark.

-Ask to plan a few days ashore or a few stopovers before leaving for the open sea.

-Do not hesitate to disembark the ship at the first signs of discomfort.

7) The risk of onboard abuse is far more threatening than the risks associated with sailing

“R,” 52 years old: I find the risks of crewing and the potential abuse far more threatening than the risks associated with actually sailing on the ocean! (…) To be honest, so many men/captains in the sailing community are so sexually inappropriate.. . I don’t think I’ve ever been offered so much sex. I have even been told by one captain that if I didn’t have sex with him within so many weeks onboard, I would have to get off the boat...

8) Distraught by the number of men who will try anything to get you on a sailboat for reasons other than sailing

“C,” 21 years old: Last summer when looking for sailing opportunities on a facebook group called "Voileux du Québec", I was a bit distraught by the amount of men that will try anything to get you on a sailboat for reasons other than sailing, so I’m really happy this female crew supporting facebook group exists to help us look out for each other.

9) The only thing on his mind was convincing me to sleep with him

“V,” 45 years old: Found via the website workaway (which banned him immediately after another female crew member of the collective sent them a report about him), this captain came to pick me up at the airport in French Polynesia.

We then went to his sailboat, a very nice one. The boat is docked far away from the pier and the marina, and the only way to get in or out of it, is to use a kayak or a canoe that is located on the boat, precisely, on a net, very high from the water level. So in order to use it to leave the boat, you have to be a strong and fit person!

The first thing he told when we were on the catamaran, was that he normally stays naked onboard, but because I was here he would put on a mini pareo-skirt with lots of holes in it: you could basically see everything through!! Not exactly what I wanted to see from my host of 65 years of age!!!

So from day 1, the whole situation, being on the boat with him, far away from the shore, was already unpleasant for me, not what I had hoped for, and I soon had the feeling of being trapped on a boat with someone potentially "dangerous", expecting or wanting something from me!

So from day 1, I started to think about my way out of there! We went for a swim, and he asked me if I wanted to go naked, obviously I said no, but I had the impression he was really watching me, like analyzing my body figure and mentally judging my physical appearance! In fact that day, over a conversation, he told that my breasts were small and that he did not like me with my hair tied up in a ponytail!

He also told me a lot about all the different women he had had in his life, sometimes even personal sexual details: his various relationship with women from all over the world, all younger than him, some of them could have been his daughters! He told me that he liked to dance Latin music, and that he often met women at dance clubs also, younger than him, he would show me photos of his girlfriends, and tell me how he approached them.

Every now and then he would approach me and give me a kiss on the cheek, or give me a hug, and one day he danced Latin music with me on the deck, which was ok, except that he was always wearing almost nothing, it was unpleasant for me!

He hugged me once, while we were watching something on his phone, in his cabin, but nothing more than this, probably because I gave no signs of any interest towards him. I'm telling all this because I had the impression, since my arrival, that he was trying to show me how charming he was with women, how knowledgeable he was while talking about different subjects, trying to show how interesting a man he was, so that I would get more appreciative and in the end, closer to him. One evening, he made cocktails with rum, maybe that his idea was to get me drunk, but it didn’t work out.

There is no wifi on his boat, therefore there was no way for me to contact anybody, or to check things online. When I asked for it, he gave me the password, but only for a very short time because it was too expensive he said.

After 3 days, when he realized I was not going to surrender, that I was mentally strong, not easy to convince, and that it was impossible to impress me, and that probably he didn't like me much anyway, since I'm not young and pretty like the others, he stopped talking to me, being nice or smiling, but instead he just told me what I had to do on the boat: cleaning etc…

I was looking forward to leaving his boat, I did not feel comfortable being with him since my arrival, and when I told him that I wanted to leave and go to another island, after only 3 days, he was not happy but he said ok, that he would take me ashore.

Once we came ashore, with the canoe, he said goodbye and left me there, 4km away from the nearest Port, with my backpack and a strong sun, telling me to walk or to hitchhike! The truth is that I felt trapped on his boat. As I said, it is not easy at all to go ashore alone, so in the end I found myself confined in a small space, with a man almost naked, that I did not like at all, of 65 years of age, whose only thing in mind was to convince me to sleep with him. Maybe I was also "lucky", in a way, because I was not his type or not young enough for him.

10) After a Bad Experience I wanted to Report the Captain, but I Decided it was Pointless.

(*Names have been changed)

“V”, 35 years old: In October 2019, I find myself on a small island looking to crew on a new sailboat for the rest of my adventures.

I log on to “findacrew.net” and come across an interesting ad. The captain and his girlfriend are on the island, after a few messages exchanged we agree to meet. And so I meet this couple, Tania* and Gary*. They are enthusiastic and pleasant. Their boat is finally ready after months in the shipyard. I also meet their teammate who has just arrived. The energy is good, so I embark for a small crossing of 3-4 days for the next islands.

The crossing is going pretty well (despite the terrible seasickness that overwhelms Tania and our teammate). Once arrived, I spend a few days on board, and then I leave the boat. Gary and Tania already have a complete crew for the rest of their adventures. I continue mine on my side. However, some time later, Gary calls me. He tells me that the agreement went south with their new partner and suggests that I join them for the rest of the journey. There will be two team members until the next archipelago, then one of the two will leave. We will be 4 for “the big crossing”, I will have a single cabin for the whole journey. I take time to reflect upon this proposal. I got along very well with Tania, she's a good travel companion with whom I really like to "chat", laugh, talk (when she's not seasick). Gary is sometimes rigid like a “control freak”, but most captains are (it seems to me at the time).

I accept and embark on this next step, which is going well overall. Tania is not in great shape, she suffers again from seasickness during the almost 5 days of navigation. She is also sad because she left the island where she is from and her family, for the floating adventure. She confesses to me that she does not like the boat. But she loves Gary and she decided to follow him in his dream (beginning to understand the man, she really had no choice).

Christmas passes, we eventually have a last minute team change (which turns out to be a lucky one, because we get along very quickly). After a “collision” with the captain (because I refuse to let him dictate my life when we are at the dock, “control freak” I told you!) we are ready for the big departure! The first few days are going pretty well. Tania is not “too” sick, a steady wind is blowing in our sails, and after a few days we have picked up the pace of long sailings. Gary “relaxes”, begins to trust Pascal* the new teammate.

Then we face a few days of heavy weather. Tania is struck down again. She does not get up anymore, feeds with difficulty and we have to insist that she gets enough hydration. We are all 3 concerned about her. Night shifts are modified. I am now replaced by Gary in the middle of the night. One night, Gary comes on deck complaining of a stiff neck. I inform him that I have oils that could relieve him. He replaces me at the helm and I go get them. I suggest that he take the helm again, while he takes care of his neck. We don't have an autopilot. He asks me if I would agree to apply the mixture to him, it will be faster. No worries, no ambiguities on my part, I comply without a second thought. He thanks me and I go to bed.

A few days later, Tania is a little better. She resumes her night shifts. She replaces Gary. I am in a deep sleep when I am awakened by a hand which caresses my forearm, the head, the nape of the neck. I quickly open my eyes and push away the stranger. Gary is sitting on the edge of my bunk. I do not understand. I ask him if there is a change of wind, if he needs us for a maneuver. He answers me in the negative. He claims to still have a sore neck, and wants me to massage him. I tell him to take the bottle in my toiletry bag, and to manage by himself. I don't understand his request, I'm still in a sleepy limbo. He caresses my face and whispers in my ear that he would like a massage without oil, so that Tania doesn't feel it. I understand. I physically push him away and tell him it's out of the question. I firmly ask him to leave my cabin. He runs. Some time later, here he is again. I sit down and ask him what he's still doing there. He tells me that he does not understand what is happening to him. He tells me he likes me. That he wants me. That I remind him of his ex. That he needs sex because Tania is so sick. That he feels a sexual energy that emanates from me. And plunges his head in my neck, clings to me, tries to kiss me. I push him away again and try to reason with him. He is wrong. He loves Tania and shouldn't project his desires and frustrations onto me. I firmly ask him to leave my cabin and to never come back. He apologizes and leaves. I am disgusted, challenged! I didn't expect this kind of behavior from him. I'm mad. How dare he jeopardize this harmony that we have achieved? Why does he break the bond of trust in the middle of the ocean? I feel trapped. I want to yell at him but I dare not. I'm afraid of Tania's reaction if she found out. She is already in so much pain that I dare not imagine her reaction if she knew of his actions. I don't want Pascal to know either. I'm afraid of creating a crisis that could put all four of us in danger. I only fall asleep at the next shift change. Pascal is awake, at the helm, Tania joins Gary, he can't try anything more.

The following night, when he comes to replace me, I am very cold towards him. He wants to talk. I tell him that I don't want to. He apologizes for his actions and thanks me for my “wise words”. I'm going to bed. I imagine this story is behind us. I avoid Gary as much as possible without it being too obvious. I want nothing to show through until we reach land. Tania again experiences a period of intense seasickness. She lies down day and night. Our shifts are getting longer. I regained some confidence. Gary tries to spend more time with me. He joins me shortly before his shift, sits down beside me and confides in me. I keep a very neutral tone and try to make him aware of “his stupidity”.

He extends my presence at the helm, claiming he has “tasks” as captain. He comes back, asks me if I'm still in good enough shape to stay at the helm, while he recovers a little before replacing me. I accept. I'm doing my part so that the 3-people shift isn't too heavy for Gary or Pascal. He sits next to me, we exchange a few words about the sea conditions and the wind. And like nothing, he runs his hand behind my back, sneaks under my clothes. I ask him to remove his hand. He does. He apologizes. I am very upset! I ask him if he is joking, I thought he understood that his actions were inappropriate. He makes excuses. Puts the blame on me. I am too “sexy” in certain situations. He cites a lot of mundane occasions when I felt safe to act without feeling like my body was being watched, sexualized. I'm disgusted. I leave him at the helm and I go to bed.

The rest of the crossing goes smoothly. The euphoria of the arrival is spoiled by a violent dispute between the couple. Gary was despicable with Tania, we tried anchoring 4 times because he was dissatisfied (anchor dropped too quickly, not enough, not quickly enough…).

In the following days, I leave the boat. I can't wait to discover this beautiful island and I'm relieved to be away from Gary. I wanted to report him to “findacrew.net”, but when I discovered their policy of comments and report of bad experiences, I abandoned the idea. Indeed, the site announces that it does not want to take sides in conflicts between users and that they will not judge the actions problematic on the basis of the testimony of a single person. “What good is it if my word is questioned? ” I say to myself. I give up on the idea and learn to live with what happened.

11) The Crewing Platforms are Dangerous. They Should be Investigated by the Authorities.

“C”, 38 years old: I was assaulted by a captain and afterwards I reported him to Crewbay.com, the site where he found me. The reaction I received from Crewbay.com was very problematic, and they refused to do any prevention to curb those assaults despite me and other victims asking repeatedly for a year. By their behavior I believe they became de facto enablers of these crimes. Then, a few months after I reported the man who assaulted me to Crewbay, a female crew friend told me that the Captain was still recruiting women on Findacrew.net, a competing crewing platform.

I tried to alert Findacrew.net, but they kept on being very aggressive towards me, forcing me without any empathy to disclose intimate details of my ordeal, while being obsessed with Crewbay, somehow.

I spoke to a woman who was very poorly trained on how to handle traumatized survivors, insisting constantly on the need to be suspicious of any reports because of the rights of the captains. At the end, it was such a horrible experience for me that I decided to give up, and I put an end to the exchange.

I know the collective of victims also tried to contact them to kindly know what was their Sexual assault/Sexual harassment (SASH) prevention policy. They sent, I believe, 4 emails in total. Findacrew.net never cared to answer. So the collective tried to reach their CEO on Facebook, as they do a lot of outreach on social networks, and what was his reaction? He blocked them without even a word.

To learn about this reaction was very traumatizing for me, because there are many young women on this website, and they are put at risk. Also, I can’t understand how someone can react in such a mean, sadistic manner, to a collective of victims. Women and girls whose sailing dreams were shattered, bodies were violated, and who live with ptsd. It’s horrible. And Crewbay.com is not better, not doing any prevention either, while it would be so easy to avoid more victims. To understand the dangerosity of Crewbay.com: they hosted the profile of a Swiss convicted rapist who assaulted at least 3 young women he recruited via Crewbay in one year (2021). Shame on them. The authorities should look into those platforms and force them to stop endangering and traumatizing the women and girls. Or simply close them until they learn that female crew safety from SASH is a priority.

12) "I had no Idea I was Embarking with a Convicted Rapist. I was Trusting Crewbay.com to be a Safe Platform: It is Not. This Man Assaulted Me."

“A”, 24 years old: In January 2021, on the advice of a friend, I registered on Crewbay.com and Bourse aux Équipiers to familiarise myself with the sailing world as I was considering hitchhiking across the Atlantic, mostly because I care about the environment and I want to avoid flying.

I indicated that I was Novice Crew, wanted to learn to sail and was offering voluntary work. Hans Klaar (note from the facebook group admins: we name him because he was already convicted for rape in South Africa. See the Mail and Guardian article: “Who is Hans Klaar?”) contacted me the same day via Crewbay.com and said: Hey I'm at Port Louis now, come visit my boat and we can see if we can help each other out (something like that).

Very enthusiastically I was happy to be able to visit a sailboat, especially one made of wood with such a cool story! We got in touch via whats app in German, I told him I would drop by for a day, and then see if I could imagine a longer time on his boat. On 29.01. I left in the morning, my flatmate M. spontaneously joined me because he was also thinking of sailing across the Atlantic. I informed Klaar about it, there was a short okay.

On the boat was B., who stayed with Klaar for a few weeks via airbnb, Klaar's sister with her two children and later a female backpacker who wanted to look at his boat joined too. M. and I were both very excited about the boat, which was made of recycled materials, all the artefacts and bizarre items he collected in the boat, his stories fascinated us. The atmosphere was very relaxed, there was a lot of laughter, I think I was a bit enchanted to be on an authentic wooden sailing boat in the Caribbean and Klaar came across as very likeable. His socially critical nature, the values he seemed to have, his philosophies of life resonated with mine.

We agreed that I would come to the boat in a few days for 4 nights and help him with tourists who would stay at the boat for one night. He listed some more work that we should do together sometime in the next few months. But as I said, I wanted to stay with him for a few days first. When I asked him what I should pay him, he said it would be fine. I insisted that I would at least like to pay for the food. He then said that I would also be working, and that would be fine.

On 3 February, I set off for Klaar's boat, already feeling a bit queasy, "I'm going alone on an older man's boat, I hope he's not a creep or something.” But I quickly shooed those thoughts away because I don't always want to think like that, I don't want to suspect the worst and I believe in the good in people and don't want to accuse him of something he's not. Besides, I was already so looking forward to the experience, so I didn't want to hold myself back from it. After I asked what I could bring, he said apples and red wine.

I arrived at his boat, B. was also present. The atmosphere between the two was a bit charged at times, but always in an amused way, both got on each other's nerves sometimes but knew how to deal with it and also found it entertaining, or so it seemed to me. Klaar showed me my bunk, it was on the same side of the catamaran as his, B. had her bunk on the other side. For a moment I was puzzled but convinced myself that she wanted her privacy since she was on the boat for a month and that the tourists would be coming the next day and they would be sleeping on the other side in the double bed, so I had no worries.

I was full of energy and driven to learn as much as I could about sailing and life on the boat. I talked a lot with Klaar, read the book "sailing for dummies" and practiced knots, I helped B. with the cooking, did the dishes and wanted to be as helpful as possible, asked Klaar many things and was in general very curious. In the course of the day I noticed that Klaar was watching me more often, occasionally stroking my back or touching me on the arm, but I took that as a friendly gesture, attributed it to his seaman-like manner, that he is simply open and talks and does a lot with his hands.

Besides, I wanted to please him in a way that he would see that I was serious about sailing, that I was striving to be hard working and that he would find me interesting as crew, so that he might actually take me across the Atlantic. Klaar tells me about his 23-year-old girlfriend, which surprised me at first because he said he's 47 and there's already a big age difference, but I'm an open-minded person and thought that it must be right for the two of them and that I shouldn't interfere if they're happy.

Besides, it put to rest my doubts that he would find me interesting in a sexual way, because I thought he was in a monogamous closed relationship. I later read in an article about him that he was actually 57, so he lied about his age. (Facebook group admins: Many captains do, alas, and since Crewbay doesn't verify their identities, they are free to do so. Some also lie on their real names, which is even more serious). After dinner with Klaar's sister and her family he and I talked by his bunk, I leaned on the opposite side, then he asked me to lie down with him. I firmly but kindly declined, finding it strange and inappropriate, but figuring it was even more awkward for him to have been turned down, so I quickly filled the brief silence with another question about sailing or something. We gossiped on for a while longer, he asked me again, I declined again and soon said that I was tired and would go to sleep.

The next day (04.02.2021) I devoted myself again to my reading and the tasks on the boat. Around noon, a young couple that had booked themselves a night on the boat arrived. Then we sailed off, it's my first time on the sailboat and I execute out all his commands, he's a good captain and we sailed for a few hours before anchoring again off a small island.

At one point during the sail I'm standing around enjoying the ride when he comes and hugs me from behind, I was totally taken aback and didn't know how to react. I was embarrassed, especially in front of the couple and in front of B.. In my overwhelm I just smiled and didn't know how to get out of this situation. Later he sat down behind me as if we were really already good friends or a couple, but in any case we were not at all ready for such physical closeness. In principle, I am a very warm and cuddly person, but I hardly knew him and found it strange to cuddle with a strange man who was almost 30 years older than me. On the other hand, I also try to think outside the box, not always believing that older men want something sexual from younger women, but that maybe they just want an unconventional friendship that has nothing to do with romance or sexual needs. But the moment was still very uncomfortable and I somehow managed to free myself from it.

I found Klaar very unsympathetic towards the guy, they were going to fish but it didn't work out very well and he blamed the guy's lack of fishing skills. So we anchored, all the boats around were watching us, there is something unique about sailing on Ontong Java, I was so happy and proud to be there. We went snorkelling, I swam around different places, he often sought my proximity, that's when I became more aware that it's not just a gut feeling that he's interested in me, but that it's really a fact. But that doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to throw himself at me.

The day passed quickly with cooking and washing up and talking, I tried to avoid him a bit, specially when I was in my swimsuit. Sitting around the campfire, he and I talk and drink wine, then I address his privacy-intrusive behavior and explained that I'm an open and outgoing person, and if he needs a bit of physical closeness, I understand because that's a human need, but I can only offer him hugs and if he's hoping for more there, I find that uncool and inappropriate. I thought that would avert the danger and awkwardness right away. Then he said dryly: "What did you think? You're a pretty young woman and I'm a man, of course I want a sexual exchange with you, that's only natural". I wasn't prepared for that, I thought he would feel caught and pretend he wasn't interested at all and that he was sorry if he conveyed that feeling. But on the contrary.

He was more self-fulfilled than ever and said that sex is fun and that these traditional thought patterns of monogamy and the age difference are just a social construct. We discussed it at length, and I agreed with the saying that his view of sexual exchange was not reprehensible, but that I was just not interested in it. With this disagreement, I thought the subject was settled. He showed me a few more constellations and then we went down to the bunks.

He was still looking for something to show me, so I stand in front of his bunk as I did the night before and we still talk while he lies on his bed. Then he asked me if I would please lie down with him. I said no and that I'd rather stay where I was for reasons we discussed before. Then he became more insistent, asking me in various ways and urging me to just lie down in bed with him. Very embarrassed, I tried to find excuses; to this day, I don't understand why I didn't just leave. I was not under the influence of alcohol and he gave very little indication that he was about to get violent. But he made me feel so guilty and that I had to get into his bed with him.

He said things like: do you think you can just profit from my boat and my experience here without giving me anything in return? This life doesn't come for free. We don't have to make out either, just a little cuddling, don't be like that. No one will know. What? You have a boyfriend? He doesn't have to know, nothing's happening. Come on, don't make me beg you. You get everything you want from me, so I'm allowed to have a little fun" and so on, but my "no's" didn't help, he wouldn't let go. "Come on, just 15 minutes and then you can sleep" he said, I made excuses a few more times and said I’m not the kind of person who’s into that, but he manipulated me and talked at me until I figured it would be over quicker if I just lay with him for a bit. So, I lie there like a stick and he starts groping me, first my breasts, my stomach, then my hips, my butt. I try to make it as uncomfortable as possible for him, turning away. I’m so glad to be wearing sturdy skater pants that make it virtually impossible for him to touch my intimate area from the outside. He takes off my light grey woollen jumper, I'm wearing a grey top and bra underneath, he gropes my breasts very hard. I said "okay that's enough of that, I'm tired and want to go to sleep".

He starts kissing me, I turn away, trying to get away from him. I think that if I make it so difficult for him, he will soon lose his desire. He has very strong hands as he lived on a boat since he was a child, he is about 2m tall and I am beginning to respect his strength. He makes a comment about my pants, that it’s so hard to “get there” with the robust fabric and that it would be better if I took them off. I tried to laugh it off and said “no thanks, it’s okay if they stay on”. There's so much going on in my head, I'm totally overwhelmed by the situation, I'm so disgusted by him, I just want to get away, I ask myself how I could ever get into something like this, how do I get out of it, what do I say to my boyfriend, who is really not my boyfriend yet, our romantic relationship, for which we have put so much on the line, has only just begun and may it be doomed to end right away because of this event. My living situation is so tense right now because of this relationship with M. that I'm not welcome in the house. I thought I could spend the first four nights with Klaar on the boat to give myself time to find something new. Where am I supposed to go now? I can't get off the boat at the moment and even if I demand to get off the boat tomorrow morning, I don't know where to go, where I'll find a place to sleep. Besides, I'm so embarrassed, what if the tourists or Claudia find out that I was in his bunk? I didn't want that at all! And now he wants to kiss me again, he holds my face with his hand and says "don't be so uptight, I don't want to fuck yet anyway, just a little grabbing and smooching, have a little fun".

I'm so confused and overwhelmed and return the kiss, maybe I can resolve the situation faster that way if I give him what he wants. It also occurs to me that it's so unfair that I'm being taken advantage of for my body right now. Where is the feminist I usually thought I was who would not accept such behavior and stand up for herself? This can’t be true that I’m being sexually harassed right now, I have to do something! What can I do? All the sisters who fought for justice should be really disappointed in me now, I am definitely disappointed by myself. How could I not have seen the signs earlier and prevented this? It is so unfair how women are always and everywhere exploited. But I can also turn the tables, if he is allowed to have his pleasure here, then I can too. With this approach, I wanted to try not to be the victim of the situation, but to be able to profit a little from the circumstances that I dislike but am unable to end. I try to have fun and let him grope me, but after a few minutes I realize that I find it totally unpleasant and that I'm just not into old men, even if I've try to set my mind to it.

So, I lay there like a stone again and let him paw me until he said: "Well, if you don't feel like it, then it's no fun for me, it has to be mutual and if you don't want it, then I won't force you". And that was the end of the action. He falls asleep quite quickly, I lie awake for a long time wondering what just happened and why I can't move. Eventually I fall asleep too.

The next morning (5.02.2021) I notice that Klaar gets up, I think he kisses me, I am still sleepy and only half awake. He goes into the kitchen but comes back again. He stands in front of me with a cloth wrapped around his hips and takes my hand to guide it under his cloth to his penis: "I've got a boner, give me a hand job, I can't get up like this". I am totally perplexed, I don't understand what is happening, he holds my hand on his penis and rubs it around. I think he let go after half a minute or so and I felt like I had to keep going, but then I also let go after 30 seconds or so and realized what was happening. I turned away and felt ashamed.

The day passed much like the previous day, I didn't want to show any signs, didn't want to tell B., stayed out of Klaar's way and thought about what to do. The tourists got off the boat around noon. Klaar said he knew a spot in the forest where magic mushrooms grow that we could eat and have fun. As I am still so lost as to what to do anyway, I agree and we go in search of the shrooms, luckily we don't find any and it was just a nice walk.

We are back at the boat, a friend of B's comes for dinner, afterwards they both go ashore. I am alone with Klaar, he wants to cuddle and make out again, I say I don't want that and that the action the night before was not okay. We discuss the way he manipulates women and lures them onto his boat, he is so confident and thinks that he is the best thing that can happen to a woman, to learn so much from him and have such non-committal sex. That I'm so much better off with him than with my lousy boyfriend who is a child and has only aroused my mother instincts but has nothing to offer me. Anyway, he can show me the Caribbean with his boat, I'll work under the sun every day, I'll get strong and lose weight and be tanned. We would make a good team, sail in the Caribbean, sell various products from one island to another, collect salt, fish, hunt goats, watch the stars, etc. He tried to tell me the fantastic life I would have with him, with no money to spend, just my sexual quid pro quo, living like a princess for months, I could wear his pearl necklace and I would have everything I needed.

Sounded nice in itself, except I found the idea of having any sexual exchange with him repulsive and definitely didn't want to be involved with a sexual predator. I said "no thanks, I want to get off the boat in the morning". I didn't know where to go yet, but M. said he'd come and we'd sleep on the beach for the next 2 nights until he had to go back to his internship and I would hopefully find a place to stay. Klaar couldn't understand that, I'm making a mistake to think that another life will make me happier, that I'm intelligent enough after all not to need the studies and conventional life because I already know everything worth knowing and would fit in well with a life with him on the sailboat. After saying no several times, he still wanted to show me something special. We got into the dinghy, I wasn't afraid of him doing anything to me. And so for the first time I saw the fish swimming around in the glow of the fluorescent algae, a breathtaking picture. Back on the boat I want to go to sleep, he says I should lie down with him, this time I manage to say very firmly that I don't want that and will spend the night alone in my bunk.

After a few attempts to persuade me, he understood and let me go. The next day B. came back to the boat. I packed my things and quickly tell her that Klaar expected a sexual payment from me. She wasn't surprised, said that's what happens in the sailing world. She told me she made it clear right from the start that she was going to live on his boat by means of financial payment and did not want any sexual exchange. She already had the feeling that Klaar wanted something from me, but didn't think it had really come to an assault. We said goodbye and Klaar took me ashore. I think I thanked him anyway for the time, because there were really beautiful moments and I found out I want to get into sailing. He said that I could come back any time if I changed my mind, he would be very happy.

In March I noticed that I had left some personally valuable socks on Klaars boat. Since we were still in touch from time to time (he sent me photos of sunsets and such) I wrote to him so I could drop by to get them sometime. He was happy about the message, said he would be sailing off in a few days and that I could spend a few days with him before that. I only came for one afternoon. A young lady, N., was at the boat, flown in from Europe to sail with Klaar for 2 months.

She was very sweet and the two got on well, I wasn't sure if there was anything going on between them and was unsure if I should warn her. In the event that she was consensually involved with him, I would be totally uncomfortable accusing her that he only hired her for her looks. We went surfing and had dinner. Klaar hugged me and tried to convince me again that I should sail with him, that I can learn so much from him and that he will take care of me. As nice as it was on the boat again and as exciting as I find his lifestyle and thoughts, his side as a creep and abuser and manipulator is just repulsive. I get off the boat and we stay in Whats app contact again for a bit. Unfortunately I changed mobile phones and lost all conversations with him.

On 20 April I write him the following message:

"Hi Hans, hope the trip is going well

Something crossed my mind the other day that I would like to share with you.

The fact that you like to bring young ladies on board and want a sexual exchange isn’t reprehensible in principle, but only if this is discussed in advance. In my case, I think it was manipulation and exploitation, because even after saying no several times, I was still forced to give you "something". I didn't think it was cool, we talked about it again the following evening. But yes, I think it's unfair that on a website that's about sailing, women are once again sexualized and possibly exploited. I don't find it traumatizing for me personally, but I don't want other women to be surprised like that. That's why I would like to ask you to consider this next time. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, but it's nicer when it's not creeping, isn't it?

So that's it, happy to hear back on this and otherwise have a good trip!

Greetings"

A very kind text because I figured that way I'll get his understanding and he'll appreciate that I didn't report him to Crewbay right away, but want to warn him personally first and he'll take this as a joyful prompt and stop his creep games. He didn't reply at all to the text at first, just sent videos of sunsets. Until this message came:

"Dear A, I find your write up totally interesting - I see a lot of material for an explosive and sensitive discussion.

I am back in Port Louis until the beginning of May and hope you will please come and visit me and stay a few days.

Best regards Hans"

He didn't respond to the content of my message and wanted me to come back on his boat, so he really missed the point. I didn't answer, he wanted to phone, I didn't pick up and so our contact broke off.

On 3 July, he writes to me that he saw a note from M. and me in a bar on the Azores looking for a crossing to mainland Europe and whether we still need a boat. We get into a conversation, he admits he really enjoys the attention I give him. I ask myself every time why I still answer him, he fascinates me and at the same time I loathe him. The last contact was then in August.

In October, he tried to sexually harass two young women on board. They left the ship. A little later I found an article about Klaar's arrest on rape charges and sent it to Crewbay.com. They already received it and had banned Klaar from the website. I tried to find the old conversations with him, however I couldn't find them, as if he had blocked me on whats app, as if maybe he thought that I had reported him to Crewbay.com and that he now wants to block me so that I don't have anything against him. On 17 October he surprisingly texted me again, which allowed me to see messages from April.

13) “This Captain Lied to me About other Crew coming to Sail with Us. In fact he had Arranged for Me to be Alone with Him.”

“J”, 32 years old: "I met this Russian captain on a facebook group and also saw him on Findacrew.net. He was living on an island in the Mediterranean region and was looking for crew members to sail during Summer 2020 (when Greece opened its borders). He told me that he will need a least 4 people plus him but that sometimes it may be less people.So I told him I was flying to an island nearby and that we will be in touch to plan where I can board. Once he knew I was there, he told me that he was on his way to Greece, first stopping on some island. At the same time, he started to text me a lot, telling me how much he was fishing and then insisting that I move to that island where he was, in order to sail with him. I told him that no, that as we discussed, I will wait where I am.

I felt that it was not normal his behavior, but after leaving in Eastern Europe for 5 years, I got used to Eastern guys... they do not know how to interact with new people, especially women.

Once I met him, he was quite shy and strange, but sounded like a nice Russian man. The boat was new but when I went inside, I saw it was dirty as hell. We agreed to leave during the next days as he had to fix something. When I asked about the rest of the crew he told me that he will join in the next few days. The day after I cleaned the boat a bit (I did not want to sail on the messy boat), I prepared something to eat and suddenly around 3pm he arrived and told me "we are leaving now".

He started the engine. I told him that we have to prepare the boat first... but no time, he had already started to move! I would like to add that I have a skipper license, so even if I do not have built miles, I know how to prepare a boat, safety and so on.

So he left the spot, and of course his anchor was stuck with another one and well... the boat ended up crashing (not too hard) with other boat. It was a show. Finally we left the Marina, he set up the sails automatically and sat there. As he did not know how to sail properly, the boat was rolling a lot and of course everything inside start to fall. He suddenly started yelling at me: "it is your fault, you did not close everything, go down and take care of everything". I was scared he will do something against me if I replied him, so I just went down and quickly I closed and made everything safe.

I was calm after all, because it would be just 3 hours sailing to another island. Once we were close, he was insisting to stay on a bay but I was sure that I wont have signal there, so I convinced him that we should go closer to the village because of the wind (luckily he was not good at using Windy). Once anchoring near the village, I felt better, as from there I could jump into the water if needed and almost walk to the beach and nearest house.It was night, I took my lunch that I had not been able to eat during the day because he did not let me, and he started to eat as well... of course he took out a bottle of wine and filled both glasses but I did wait for him to drink all his, just be sure nothing was added.

I tried a bit wine, and he insisted to fill my glass again, but I said no, and of course he continued drinking. That was the moment he told me he was divorced, he had a teenage child, and he just want to sail with one person. I asked him "when will the other crew join?" and he told me that "no other crew is joining for now, depending how we get along". He had another Spanish girl interested but he preferred just one.

I was in shock, because he had completely lied.

I went to sleep and closed my door, but I checked after that, and he left his door open where I could see him almost naked. Totally disgusting.The next day, I left with the dingy to the village in order to ask for the next ferries and it seemed that I had to wait for the next day. I was too scared to tell him that I will stay on land because I knew there was no ferry that day, so I just pretended that everything was fine. At night I packed everything and the next day in the morning, I told him I was leaving to get the ferry. I put all my stuff at the dingy and he did not have choice but to give me a ride.He was insisting on me staying until the evening when the ferry departed and I told him that I was moving to the main town to visit it.

Once I got tho the small beach, I just ran to some Greek sailors and ask them to stay with me until the bus arrived. I managed to jump into the bus, moved to the main village and well, I started to cry... I felt finally free. Once I catched the ferry I realized something... a month before, I had received a request on instagram from SV/X that I did not follow back... X was the name of his boat and he had been stalking me for a long time. I blocked him.

I continued my journey in Greece and a few weeks after, I was with another captain from South America, and other crew, one of them a girl from the Baltic States. We added each other on instagram. Using a second Instagram account (a travel one I have), I checked that deceiving man, checking again who he was following, I saw my crewmate. I quickly asked her and she told me: he contacted me on Findacrew.net and I may join him after this boat. I told her please do not do it. He is crazy, he wont sail with more people even if he told you that.

She was in shock.

I blocked him on whatsapp and instagram and well, a few months later, on a Facebook sailing group, he posted that he was looking for a crew on his way to the Canaries (my home region and where I am currently living). I got really scared and I blocked him and I tracked his boat on Marinetraffick to avoid meeting him anywhere there, especially in the town marina where I am going almost everyday.

I wanted to report him to findacrew.net but I was too scared. I am so happy with this group and that we can share our experiences. Now I will report him to Findacrew.net and keep the collective in copy of my exchanges with them. I know they are not cooperative at all on this issue, quite the opposite.

14) “After a Few Days at Sea, this Captain Turned into a Demonic Psychopath. So Much so that we Were Afraid for our Lives.”

Admin of the facebook group: this testimony doesn’t describe a sexual assault or harassment occurrence. But it does describe a phenomenon that we have encountered countless times with victims: the captain of the vessel becoming a dangerous tyrant on his sailboat after a few days at sea, displaying clear psychopathic tendencies. Indeed, alas, it is far from being rare. A female crew almost died recently in one such case.

“M”, 28 years old. So here are some facts about the Atlantic crossing we did with J. We were 3 with him (me, female crew and 2 male crew), one of them met him trough Crewbay.com, me and the other one met him trough the website labourseauxequipiers.

Our first days were very very good, the vibe was nice and everything was fine. But slowly things started to be weird. One day he got into a huuuge argument with one of the male crew M. in the middle of a manoeuver (it was in Portuguese so I don't know exactly what happened) but he shouted on him for a long time, and at dinner time he didn't want to allow him outside to eat, starting another fight. Because of that, M. was excluded from every single task on the boat, and was just waiting in his cabin for time to pass.

Because of that J. decided that him and I would do all the watches (the other male crew, L., was with me still) so I got very very tired, having to stay awake 8 hours a night. One or two days after that, J. called for a meeting, telling us that we would have to pay more for the crossing because things could break. I was so tired, that I would have said yes to everything, but the two other crew said, with reason, that it was not the initial deal. J. got so mad because of that, saying stupid stuff like " if you don't wanna do what I want, you can just leave the boat" which is hard considering we were in the middle of the Atlantic.

Then he was putting weird rules that were not necessary, making me feel like it was more about asserting dominance. Things like: we could eat pasta or rice only once every two days. Not that we were missing gas, just because "it is not reasonable to use it too much". Or we should ask him to charge our devices, and he would always say no. Again, not a problem of quantity of electricity on the boat. And when we would trespass this rule, he would angrily rip of the cables from the plug.

But well, I was exhausted because of the bad task repartition, he was angry because he couldn't assert enough dominance, M. was hidden in his cabin... but it was just a bad vibe we thought it was not so bad, you know, could be worse...

Until that night. He was in better relation with M., but now hating L., being mean to him. It was like he didn't want to see his face. Anyhow, we are on a boat so it's impossible. So, that night, J. was doing his watch outside when L. got out to see the sunrise. But J. didn't want him here and started to shout to him to go inside, insulting him and all.

At one point I got awaken by the noise, hearing some "boom" above my head, and screaming in Portuguese and L. just saying "Calma tee, calma te !". So I went to see, because at this point I was worried someone would fall off the boat or something.

There I see J. holding this metal stick we call a 'gaffe' in French, threatening L. with it, hitting around. So, afraid he would see me, and very scared in general actually, I hid downstairs, recording the moment on my phone and being ready to do something if necessary.

It was feeling like an horror pirate movie. Heart fast beating and all. L. told me then that he also put him a rope around the neck to threaten him that he could get hurt if he didn't go inside. And to show further his delusional way of being, in the morning, J. called over the radio a boat that was around, to tell them that he had "a very bad element on his boat, that he was afraid for safety and wanted to know if they could take him". In the middle of the ocean with 3m waves! And when I asked him if I could go with L., he didn't seem to understand that for me, he was the one who was dangerous.

From that moment on, we were all very afraid that this shit could happen again and, this time, really escalate badly. Like we were unsure of our own safety. Which is pretty shitty in the middle of the ocean when you have no control over nothing and no way to call for help.

M. was always with his knife in his pocket and we had a plan, in case needed, to tie J. up, and call help with the satellite phone. There was an awful hypocrite vibe on the boat where we would all try to play it smart to avoid awaking the demon again. And J. was always trying to make life harder for everyone, forbidding topless on the deck (for the boys!), forbidding us to sit in a lot of places, always having something to say about every tiny thing happening, always watching us closely.

Also nobody could do anything to help on the boat anymore so it was a shit show. And the last night, I just found J. deeply asleep on the deck, alarm beeping, to warn about a close boat: he wasn't reacting.

Also he was really bad at putting sails in the right way, constantly causing the autopilot to crash. Upon approaching land, he was like "I want you all out of my boat at 8 tomorrow!" and we were like "hell yes dude, we not gonna stay long" and as we were waiting for a place to stop the boat in Martinique, I was hungry, I ate a sardina box and it was enough for him to shout at me a good last time. Anyway, we reached the Coast, and ran like freed prisoners. To never see him again.

I hope it says enough, but if not, I can go on and on again about a lot of others incidents occurring in the crossing. I was writing everything down in a note book (a way to evacuate the pain during the crossing) and we also have, if necessary, the police complaint L. made when arriving in Martinique.

It should be added that this captain has a fancy Youtube channel and Instagram, and many followers.

15) “ It was my first job for a charter company. When the skipper started to assault me after I had rejected him several times, I feared for my position, and gave him what he wanted.”

“Y”, 32 years old. During my very first charter experience with a charter company in July 2021, I found myself alone with a skipper, without having first met the people from the office in order to be explained in detail what were the missions I was supposed to carry out.

So I met C., a 48-year-old French skipper, who explained everything to me, and offered to “train” me. I didn't know anything about this professional environment, and I had no trusted contacts or similar around. I immediately felt that he had a temperamental, even authoritarian side, but I didn’t pay more attention to it.

The first days of the charter, he started to proposition me for sex, which I did not respond to. One evening, the customers had left for the restaurant, I went to eat with him outside, and upon returning to the empty boat, he began to try to approach me, insisting, despite of the fact that I was pushing him away, saying that I wasn't interested. I ended up leaving the boat to get some fresh air. I feared he might come back.

After an altercation with him, the charter customers disembarked after 3 days. So we found ourselves alone to bring the boat back to port. Once the customers had left, he got naked immediately, telling me that if it bothered me, I just shouldn't look. He continued to make advances, saying for example “I will teach you if you are nicer”, among other things. I explained to him that I was very uncomfortable with this, and he got angry, shouting at me and turning the blame on me, saying he was offended by my words.

I want to point out that this type of personality is very manipulative. He constantly turned what I had said against me, to hit my sensitive spots. That same evening, he invited some friends if his (a very nice family) on the boat, as the customers had left. We drank alcohol, because I felt more confident with them being present. So I let myself go and I drank too.

That was my mistake. I found myself very drunk when his friends left. I don't know exactly how but I find myself with him smoking a cigarette on the deck of the boat, I was sitting next to him and he pulled me against him.

I started to panic in my head, knowing very well what he was going to do but I remained paralyzed, wondering what to do: if I got angry, he might have gotten even more angry, as had been the case earlier this afternoon, and/or become violent. Shouting to alert the neighboring boats, but I wasn’t sure I could trust them either. He might have said bad things about me in the office if I was not giving him what he wanted. I feared for my job, (as he had explained to me several times that it was the “chief on board, it was (him) who was in command”).

I remained being totally blocked, in addition to being drunk with fuzzy memories, and I did nothing. I just let him do it, trying to persuade myself that, maybe all things considered, I was okay , when I had explicitly told him earlier that I was almost disgusted by the fact that a man 20 years my senior was propositioning me.

So I let him do, when he started running his hand under my clothes, taking them off, touching me. The memories are hazy, but it got to sexual intercourse. During it, I spent all the time trying to convince myself that I was okay with it. It's kind of weird to explain. I felt like hazy completely after that, and I kind of got into this game of his until the end of the charter experience.

Then he managed to do another 14 days charter with me, imagining a romance, promising me wonders, telling me about a dream job he wanted to take me to in order to make a lot of money .

I tried to put stops to him, but I understood that, how can I say, his vision of reality was not very rational. During this second charter, I don't even know why I got into his game, I had surely felt the manipulation and I was afraid of him for fear that he would shoot me down with the charter agency.

The two weeks were hell, as he came to me, I let him at first, still not quite understanding what was going on, and how I had managed to convince myself that it was a good idea. I started to understand how he was functioning. He was giving me contradictory instructions in terms of cooking, absolutely controlling everything I was doing, criticizing everything, forbidding me to take naps, to move around at night in the boat, getting angry as soon as I made a remark, or else not answering me when I stood up to him.

I managed to put stops and push him away after a few days, and from then on he was even more obnoxious and constantly talking to me like a dog among, other things. Some examples: I slept in the forward cabin connected to the cabin where he was sleeping. While I was sleeping, around 2/3am, he entered my cabin in order to grab his bag brutally and closed the door by slamming it.

Once, I had gone to sleep on deck to be quiet, he came to wake me up and told me “you better be in good shape tomorrow”. He ordered me to be careful with what I said, telling me that "he too had things to say", telling me "shut up now". While I was in the living room in the evening making the menus, he passed by and turned off the light without saying anything to me. Asking him what was going on, he said to me: "I'm the captain, if you're not happy you can leave”.

Once, he yelled at me while I was preparing the desserts: "learn to do simple things first, instead of trying to do complicated things". When I broke down in tears, it was the client who came to comfort me. The list of anecdotes of this type is too long to tell.

After that, because I had contacted mechanic friends I had met in the meantime to ask them for advice, so the word about his behavior started to spread. The clients, I believe, mentioned it in the office, but it is impossible to get a clear version from anybody. He was blacklisted by the charter company, apparently for a badly managed accident (rudder broken due to hitting rocks).

He was recruiting on several crewing facebook groups in recent weeks.

16) “ This Captain Continuously Sexually Harassed and Assaulted me While we Were on his Boat. He later Confessed that he was Trying to “Convince” each Woman who was Crewing with Him to “Be with” Him.”

“V”, 30 years old. Me and my friend were on Captain S. boat, we found him via the website WorkAway in April 2022 in Fort de France, Martinique. He seemed nice, we had a tea with him and talked about everything.

Then after a few days on his boat, I noticed him watching me a lot, taking pictures, always sitting on my bed (it's a small boat, so at first I thought it was ok) or touching me inappropriately.

When my friend left the boat for the afternoon, after a week on his boat, he talked to me about his feelings, that he fell in love with me and cannot stop touching me. I said kindly, "hey thanks for talking about it, I noticed but I am sorry not interested,but glad we spoke about it, nothing wrong with that". So I thought that's that then.

In the following days He then continued to grab my butt more aggressively every time I was in front of him, or when I was trying to move from one place to another on the boat, also grabbing my breast and hip, every chance he got. Also, one evening he masturbated just 5 seconds after we said good night. There are no doors, and as I said it's a very small boat, so he intended to make me hear it.

I continuously had to say that I don't want him touching me. The last time I said it very fiercely, that he had "to fuck off or else", He got angry and said I was the one who provoked it, so after that, he ignored me for two days, but still kept watching me when I was taking a shower or change.

The second day before last, he got very drunk and I had to carry him back to the boat, while he was kissing my legs while I was driving the dinghy. We found another boat and left after 14 days total on S boat. My Romanian friends on whose boat he got so drunk that night told me just now that he came by their boat when me and my friend had left, to ask their female crew if they'd rather join his boat.

We saw him after a few days in the marina of Riviere sense, Guadeloupe. He then followed us to the next islands and anchorages (Guadeloupe-Dominica-Martinique). He was always around, when he heard from our friends what were the next plans he would appear at the same spot he knew we'd be the next day. We left Portsmouth for Roseau and he saw us leave and left also. In Martinique he had a flight booked to England beginning of June.

So I thought about telling you, first my thoughts were: well nothing really bad happened and he is also very nice, so I don't want to cause any trouble, but still he made us feel very uncomfortable and who knows what could have happened.

I asked him after he confessed that he's into me, if he feels lonely and is looking for a partner. He said yes, he always tries to get female crew and then “convince them to be with (him)” (exact words, not kidding).

I now realized it was very serious abuse and that I should stop feeling sorry for him. I have started the process to report him.

17) “While I was sleeping, the captain entered my cabin, stepped naked in my bed, and I woke up because a very hard penis was poking against my back. I could not go anywhere. I reported him, but Findacrew.net did nothing about it.”

“J”, 45 years old. I sailed with a lot of captains and was always treated with courtesy. A very unpleasant surprise when I stepped on board with him. I reported his behavior to findacrew.net, but they did not do anything about it.

While I was sleeping he entered my cabin, stepped naked in my bed and I woke up because a very hard penis was poking against my back, it will be over in a few minutes he whispered in my ear. I could not go anywhere.

The captain had my passport and quite a bit of cash that belonged to me, which he had hidden on the boat so that I did not have to walk around with it. I wanted that back, so I had to be nice to him. He acted as if sex was part of the deal. “Crew has to keep the skipper happy”, he said. I am a professional skipper: for me that’s not part of the deal. I finally left with my passport only.

It was a long time ago, 7 years, and I just want to forget everything about it.