When I Was A Cadet, The 2nd Mate Came Up Behind Me On The Bridge, Told Me He Liked the Smell of My Cologne, And Said He Wanted To Bend Me Over The Chart Table And Fuck Me In My Ass.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a male graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy *

Please don't use my name or show my photo. When I was a cadet, I had a 2nd Mate come up behind me while I was standing on the bridge and tell me that he liked the smell of my cologne and that the smell made him want to bend me over the chart table and fuck me in my ass.

I felt completely powerless at that moment because I couldn't really report it to anyone. The Captain & the other mates were also on the bridge when he said it and they didn't care. Of course I also needed sea days to graduate and couldn't afford to be taken off the ship by the Academy Training Representatives (ATRs).

The 2nd Mate then told me that whenever he gets drunk out in town, he hits on anything, even dudes. He even said he had a few sexual interactions with men. The way he said these things was intentionally intimidating.

I was legitimately paranoid after that because I thought he might try to break into my room in the middle of the night, especially since I knew he had access to the master key.

Thankfully there were other cadets on the ship, and I told them about it, but I told them as if it were a joke, so we would all make fun of the 2nd Mate and that helped me deal with that situation.

But it was scary.

When I Was A Cadet I Was Sexually Harassed on a Military Sealift Command Ship. When I Reported It I Was Told To Stay Silent.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy *

I'd like to stay anonymous, but I was on a Military Sealift Command ship as a cadet, and there was a 3rd Mate who would make all these weird sexual comments to me and the other female cadets about sexual stuff he wanted to do to us.

Disgusting things.

I went to the Chief Mate and complained about the sexually harassment and he straight up told me not to report it because “You don't want to ruin someone's career over a couple of comments.”

I was on that ship for 8 months, so I just had to deal with it on my own the whole time.

—Female USMMA Graduate

Some of the Worst USMMA Sea Year Stories I Heard Were About Men Getting Abused.

*This account was submitted by the author, who is also a victim and wishes to remain anonymous.

Some of the worst stories I heard about USMMA cadets on Sea Year were from my male friends.

I had friends who told me they would get their Junk grabbed by an officer every single day on their ship.

I think the people harassing or assaulting the men feel a lot less restrained and even invincible, because most guys would never come forward about that stuff because they are embarrassed.

—Recent Female USMMA Grad

I worked at SUNY Maritime for 3 Years and Saw Terrible Things Happen to Women, Gay Men, and Persons of Color. I Was Repeatedly Told to “Leave it Alone.”

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the author, a former employee of SUNY Maritime College *

Hello, l have seen some of the posts about SUNY Maritime, And I wanted to share my experience.

I worked at Maritime for years as a Res Life Incident Responder, and during that time I saw some of the worst things I've ever seen happening to women, gay men, and persons of color. 

I've worked at multiple maritime academies in this capacity and have never experienced what I've seen there. 

I was repeatedly told to “leave it alone.” 

“It's just the culture of the campus,” they would say and they would tell me that if I pushed it any further I should consider another school for grad school and for work.

I worked there for three years.

Let me know if I can help in ANY way.

I Was Sexually Harassed by My Captain. When I Finally Stood Up to Him, He Retaliated Against Me.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim who wishes to remain anonymous *

I remember calling a Chief Mate to the Captain's office so he could sit in and witness while I confronted the Captain on record.

The issue was that I was being harassed by the Captain because I didn't wear a bra. Anyone who knows me knows I hate those things and I have a right to wear my t-shirt without a bra.

But apparently this was a problem for the Captain. Some days he'd come up on the bridge on my 12-4 watch and spend 4 hours literally picking out my body parts one by one telling me what he'd like to do to them sexually.

When I finally stood my ground and pointed out how predatory his behavior was and that it wasn't welcome he went on to start verbally abusing me in front on my subordinates, daily, shouting profanities at me on the radio during mooring stations.

It got so bad that he would even write emails to the crewing managers demanding that I be signed off the vessel because he claimed I was incompetent. My competence has never been an issue for many years sailing with different mates and masters until the day I stood up to him.

My only sin was just to reject his sexual advances.

I was Raped on Campus at SUNY Maritime, And Also Sexually Assaulted on Senior Cruise. After I Graduated I Never Looked Back.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime College *

I attended SUNY Maritime almost ten years ago and I was raped on campus. I never reported the perpetrator because I saw how girls were slut shamed for the most ridiculous reasons. I was told you don't want to be "that girl" and "something like this will follow you for the rest of your career." Besides, I had been drinking on campus with upperclassmen (and other females) when this happened, so by the standards of that school it was practically my fault.

After I was raped, I saw this guy around campus. He asked me if I got pregnant, would I get an abortion. I told him no because I don't believe in that. He told me, "Well my mom is a lawyer and I'd get that baby taken away from you."

You know what the biggest joke on that campus is? The term "one hand." I remember after indoc feeling like I was "part of something" and that these people would have my back. The few "friends" I told about the rape either shunned me or shrugged it off like, “oh, well feel better soon!”

To say I struggled that year was an understatement.

I was also assaulted on my senior cruise and it made me go off the rails. I was supposed to be getting a 'Q' in the pump lab and the watch officer kept talking about random crap and kissed me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. It was so awkward I laughed it off, left the pump lab and fucking cried in my room.

My boyfriend was a deckie, but he had missed a cruise. He left the ship in Dublin. I went to grab drinks in Dublin with another girl who's boyfriend wasn't on the ship and we got roofied in some Dublin bar. To this day I don’t remember anything after our first drink. The next morning, people were telling me I did 'x, y, and z,' but I had no recollection. I was actually happy and in a good mood on my way to morning formation because I literally had no idea. I even had one of our "cool" regimental officers come up to me and say, "Well little lady, I don’t want to hear anything else about you for the rest of cruise." And he did that during a morning inspection at the next port after Dublin.

I went three full years at that school flying under the radar, but people saw me in that bar in Dublin and ran with it. I didn’t report a rape so I wouldn't look like a "dumb slut,” but it turned out that it didn’t matter after I got roofied in Dublin.

Of course I made the "light list," which is supposed to be everyone making jokes about stuff that happened on cruise. But it's just a chance for the guys to completely trash the girls and make us out to be "typical maritime girls." No one cared or asked my side of the story.

That cruise made me hate the school and I wanted to just finish my senior year without incident. I was of the mindset that everyone can go fuck themselves. I didn’t want to be a rate, I didn’t want to participate in sports. I just wanted to graduate and move on.

But I got written up for 2 golds and had to run around campus collecting statements to refute the charges. I ended up with only 30 demerits. But that year was the worst. It was MUG stricter than my year and I hated it.

But eventually I made it out of there, and I’ve never looked back.

I was Assaulted a Couple of Times at SUNY Maritime And Harassed Afterwards. Women Should Not Have to Battle Sexual Harassment & Assault Throughout Their Training and Careers.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim who wishes to remain anonymous *

I was assaulted a couple of times when I was at maritime. Two different times, someone I trusted and thought of as a friend took advantage of me. At first, it seemed so gray to me and I made excuses for them. I was too nice, too caught up in wanting to be a good friend. I brushed it off and honestly still haven't come to terms with it. I downplay it a lot because a part of me refuses to acknowledge what happened.

In my senior year, I started to realize the way I was being treated by my "friends" and peers was not okay. When I graduated I worked on the training ship. I was excited to work with the mates as I knew most of them already, they were my teachers and had always been great to me. Immediately after I got on, one of the mates that had been so great to me during my senior cruise began harassing me. I guess I was "fair game" now that I wasn't a student.

He would try to tear my self confidence down and manipulate me and try to convince me to hang out with him. He made bets on me and so many other comments that made me extremely uncomfortable and I constantly worried he was speaking crudely about me to my coworkers. I was so disappointed I guess because I had expected such a professional environment because I was now a licensed officer on the training ship. Especially because I wasn't getting much respect from the other side.

I was teaching and the students definitely took some leeway with me being young and a girl. Most just made comments about how I looked and tried to give me their numbers and I laughed that off. But one kid went so far as to grab my ass in port when he saw me out. I had no idea what to do about it and just pretended it didn't happen because I knew there was already a stigma around hiring recent grads because of the school's concern with frat.

I got a job in the industry recently and there he was. Another man (SUNY grad of course) making inappropriate comments to me. He actually waited until we weren't working together to start saying things that made me uncomfortable. I'd only ever known him in a professional capacity for a very short amount of time. Someone I thought would become a great contact in the industry quickly became someone I hope I never get on a ship with.

I know my story is fairly mild compared to many others but I have had a lot of trouble realizing that what was happening to me was not okay. Any form of harassment is NOT okay and I've been so trained by society to make excuses for it. Now, I constantly worry that I'm being talked about sexually and that someone will start harassing me. I love working in the maritime industry but every girl who does should not have to battle sexual assault and harassment throughout their training and career.

My Toxic Experience at SUNY Maritime Academy

*This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime Academy, who wishes to remain anonymous.*

I went to SUNY Maritime because my dream was to get a deck license and eventually become the captain of a ship. I eventually made it through Maritime, but I left that school traumatized and humiliated. I'm sharing my story because I want people to know what women go through there, and I want them to know that my story is not that unusual, and is just a tiny example of what's happening at the school. At the end of my first year I went on the SST14 training cruise. 

One day I was sitting at one of those small desks taking a Rules of the Road exam on the training ship. I had my cell phone wedged between my thighs to hold it while I took the exam. 

One of the mates who was administering the exam was one of those old captains who had come out of retirement to go on the cruise. I don't remember his name but he had a creeper ‘stache and was so old he's probably dead by now. 

He was walking up and down the rows, and when he came to me he leaned down to my ear and whispered in my ear "I wish my head was where that phone is right now." What the fuck? I went and reported it to the Deputy Commandant, a woman named Captain Hanft. 

She told me that if I didn't want negative attention from the mates on the training ship, then I shouldn't wear tight khaki pants. That's a direct quote. And she told me there was nothing she could do.

During SST15 we had a reg officer that would walk into female berthing holds on the ship without knocking and lift spank blankets with female cadets sleeping in them. I reported this to Chief Testor and the response I got for reporting this was that there was no proof, and so there was nothing the reg staff could do about it. 

This same reg officer would deliberately roam the halls listening outside students rooms and jiggle door handles to trick students into opening their doors to get them in trouble. 

These incidents of reporting things and having nothing happened were a big part of what led to me not reporting being sexually assaulted on campus.

I didn't report the assault to the school because I was absolutely terrified of being found at fault and getting in trouble. And after seeing the measures the school takes to protect their staff and the school with lawyers, anyone would be scared to come forward. 

The man who assaulted me is now an engineer with MEBA and he's floating around somewhere out there with cadets on his ship, I'm sure. Our dean of students Ms. Delgado (no longer employed) recommended I change schools and said maybe the maritime industry wasn't for me. 

Captain Hanft and Captain Borges were both women in power who really fucked me over many times. It is difficult to understand.

Eventually all of the trauma from the assault and stress from all the bullshit the school was putting me through for no reason led to me having panic attacks that were so bad I had to be hospitalized. While I was in the hospital the school never even reached out to me. On the SST17, which was my senior cruise, there was a licensed engineer aboard who was constantly making comments about my body and he would constantly try to get me to come into his room or to go out with him in port. 

He always made sexual gestures at me and made countless comments about my body. It was disgusting. In port he would come up to me and try to get me to go off places with him. He was sexually harassing me, so I reported it to Captain Borges. 

She said that because l had no proof, there was nothing she could do about it, and she suggested I stop wearing shorts and stop wearing makeup to make the harassment stop. I can go on forever about the shit that school put me through, but it eventually led me to believe that I did not have a voice and left me feeling completely helpless and at times hopeless. 

The environment at the school was so toxic that students had to start recording their encounters with regimental staff to protect themselves. Like I said earlier, I left that school seriously traumatized and I felt humiliated. I think the main problem is with the regimental staff the school hires and the amount of authority they are given. 

I would recommend that if you go to SUNY you need to know your rights as a student. Record everything with your phone and keep written accounts of everything that happens. Today I'm sailing 2nd Mate on my license, moving up in my career, and doing my thing. I'm not sure if this will help anyone or give someone courage to come forth, but I just felt the need to share. Thanks for reading.

Sexual Assault at Kings Point: USMMA is “Kind of Like a High School”

“Because we're kind of like a high school, everything spreads so fast and you don't know what's actually true because you've got two sides to something.

And say, the guy actually did it, but he's more popular or he's got more friends. Then, that story is going to spread faster and people are going to believe him.

And that's just the way that a lot of those things work. It's just totally arbitrary which person all the cadets believe because it's whichever person gets their story out first."

-Male 2nd Classman

Female Kings Point Cadet Sexually Assaulted by Member of Masters, Mates, & Pilots during Sea Year.

*This story was originally reported in the Washington Post and are direct quotes from the victim, a member of the USMMA class of 2013, that were contained in a video accompanying the article.

“As soon as we were taking a taxi back to the ship, alone, the Chief Mate started saying all these things to me about how attracted he was to me. How we had such a good time and I should be his girlfriend and everything. And then he started forcing himself on me in the taxi and I kept yelling ‘No, stop, get away from me’ and he, like, pushed me up against the side of the taxi and put his hands down my clothes and grabbed my chin and made me kiss him and everything.

“I remember running back to the ship and locking my door. I ended up writing the Chief Mate a note saying that I was really hurt by what he did, that I felt very violated, that he had violated my trust. And I left the note on his desk. A couple days later he slipped a note under my door saying “Sorry, have a nice summer,” and he slipped a couple hundred dollars in an envelope and and put it under my door.

“And I remember coming back to school and feeling really weird about myself and feeling kinda depressed, and I really lost interest in my school work, my grades plummeted...

“You feel humiliated, and the more you try to forget about it and push it to the back of your mind, the worse you feel about it. I’m tired of people saying this doesn’t happen, or that I have to suck it up and act like a man.
—Erika Lawson, USMMA Class of 2013

Editor’s Note: Erika Lawson told the Washington Post that she had been afraid to report the assault while a crew member aboard the ship. It’s easy to understand why she would be afraid. Lawson was 19 years old and she was in Saipan, 7,800 miles from the her school, the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy. Her Chief Mate had the support of the Captain, his labor union, the shipping company, and the other members of the crew. Lawson told the Post that she eventually sought counseling through the USMMA to help her cope with the trauma.

Nothing happened to this Chief Mate, who was a member of the International Organization of Masters, Mates & Pilots. Captain Eugene Albert, the man who ran the Sea Year program for 15 years and was responsible for keeping Lawson safe, knew the name of the ship and the identity of the Chief Mate who sexually assaulted her, yet he never attempted to take legal action against the mariner or report the incident to the U.S. Coast Guard.

In fact, Captain Eugene Albert continued and continues to send USMMA cadets out to this man's ship. If you are a female cadet, you might be unlucky enough to be sent to his ship.

I Thought I Had Landed My Dream Job. Then Brutal Sexual Harassment, Bullying, and a Culture of Indifference Forced Me Out of the Maritime Industry

*This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a maritime academy graduate. She first posted her story in August 2020 and added updates in December 2021*

In 2019 I landed my dream job as a training mate. I got out there and was absolutely stoked to be working, and for the first 4 weeks I had so much fun. Our crew was typical in that there were a few non-friendly assholes, but I never let those people bother me. At the start of my 5th week on the boat things began to change.

I asked a crew member a clarifying question on how to run a piece of machinery, because I hadn't used it before and safety is huge for me. That crew member then told the captain I was completely incapable of working on a boat and should be removed. For that entire 5th week the captain completely ignored me until the day of crew change. That day he approached me when I was alone and working out. The captain was 65 years old and married. He told me I was a “real catch” and that l'd find a husband soon because of how attractive I was, and then he asked me if I was ready to return for more "abuse" the next hitch.

I returned to work 2 weeks later and the moment I stepped on the boat the harassment and belittling started. I had been warned that two of the mates hated women and were thoroughly convinced that a woman had no place onboard a vessel. But I held my head high despite their constant rude comments, because honestly I’m used to silly men and their stupid words towards women on boats. That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the captain berating me loudly on a daily basis, attacking me for every single possible thing he could—from how something wasn't painted while I was home off the boat to how I didn't order supplies when I wasn't even on the boat, etc.

The asshole captain had HORRIBLE memory and almost zero recollection of how to operate day-to-day jobs. I was dumbfounded that he was even allowed to keep his license. The mates all knew he was awful at his job, that his mental health was gone, and that he had signs of early onset dementia. But the mates covered for him and said that as long as he could dock the boat, they could get us “from point A to point B.”

For weeks he actually thought I was an entirely different person. There had been another girl before me who had requested to be transferred to another boat because of how horrible he was to work for, and the captain confused me with her. 

Because of the one question I had asked the previous hitch, the captain told all the mates that I was incapable of doing the job. At the start of my 2nd hitch the one mate who I was friends with warned me that the captain was out for me and the only way to succeed was to put up with the non-stop harassment and belittling. It got so bad I found myself in tears every day, and I'm not a weak person. 

It wasn’t even the first time I had been sexually harassed at work. I've dealt with harassment on multiple different vessels. I once worked with an older Turkish man who would always touch my legs and grab my thighs, and he would come right into my stateroom and corner me with demands. But on previous boats the harassment was always taken care of by the Captain. Some of those vessels even had cameras, and the captain could see first-hand what was going down. I've never had an issue like I did on that boat. The harassment was on a completely different level. 

The mean mates would yell at me for having to use the head instead of being able to pee over the side of the barge like they did. I was embarrassed and humiliated in front of multiple men when a mate told me that having my period was not an excuse to use the head because "men have periods too and don't complain."

I obviously couldn't follow the chain of command with my complaint, because the complaint had to do with my captain. At dinner one night he slammed into the galley and screamed at me.  He yelled at me that I'm “no good to work on a boat, would never make it at sea, and belong on a ferry or on land where women should be."

Finally I went to the shoreside HR manager who was the only woman in the office. She confided in me that she dealt with sexism in the office all the time, to the point that the company’s human resources lawyer would slap her on the ass and demand she bring him coffee during morning meetings.

After I went to HR, I was removed from my vessel and an "internal investigation" took place. No one spoke up for me because everyone was either scared of the captain and losing their jobs or honestly didn't believe harassment was anything to be bothered by.

The company was hiring crew on their other vessels and I asked to be switched to a different boat. I was told NO by the owner of the company. He said he acknowledged that I felt unsafe and acknowledged I was being harassed, but he told me I needed to “suck it up and deal with it or go home.” 

So I went home.

A lawyer took my case pro bono, but he quickly became super flaky about helping me. He told me that "without a witness no one will believe a woman." Later that same lawyer told me that since the captain harassed everyone on the boat and belittled different crew members on a daily basis, he couldn’t be held accountable for his behaviors because that's just his normal “functioning level.”

My lawyer also warned me that if I made a fuss about the incident with the asshole captain that I would be "blacklisted" by the industry. I'm not fearful of being blacklisted, I'm fearful of women being harassed, raped, put in danger, etc. while onboard vessels in this industry. I’ve been overwhelmed with emotions reading some of the stories posted on the site. And multiple girls have shared their own personal stories of harassment with me over the past two years, and yet NOTHING IS BEING DONE. I'm so beyond fed up and disgusted. I am so in love with the maritime industry, but that love has been replaced with fear.

Besides a 10 day tug boat delivery for a small ma and pa company back in 2020, I haven't returned to a boat since I was forced to quit. And even on that 10 day job I was removed from my vessel by the operations manager. He made a surprise visit to the boat and was so bothered by how the wheelhouse crew were behaving and talking about women that he flew me home that day. He told me that even though I felt fine onboard, he wasn't comfortable with how they were talking about me.  So I got sent home instead of the crew that was causing issues. Again.

After that experience I passed up another job because it was with a crew known for poor treatment of women, and I was scared to travel overseas with them alone. I had what I thought was my dream job where I was able to finally work under my license, but that was taken away from me. And no job means no income. I’ve been working small side-jobs ever since, but that doesn't pay my ridiculous school loans I have from the highly ranked maritime academy I graduated from.

Last year I asked the one mate I had been shipboard friends with if he would come forward to support my claims about the harassment I had endured working for that asshole captain. He said that "after much thought" his answer was “no,” because he didn’t really see anything wrong with it since the captain harassed everyone. That mate pointed out that I was harassed the most, but since I chose this career I needed to suck it up. He then added he would never allow his daughters to work in the maritime industry because of how horrible it is for women, which I found unreal. 

The maritime world is functioning multiple decades behind the rest of the world, and it's repulsive. Why are things that are illegal on land allowed at sea? In one of the last conversations I had with my “lawyer,” he told me that when it comes to sexual harassment “even if there is proof the man did something wrong, if he says he didn’t do it, then it’s his word against hers, and his word will always be honored.” After a year of giving me excuses, he’s ignored my messages for the past 8 months. 

The man who owns that company is a bully. And I think he assumed I would just go away on my own. He thinks I just gave up, but I'm still not done fighting. Somehow, I will get justice.

It's 2021. Women have rights.

I Want to Tell You About Racism at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy

*This account was submitted to MLAA by a recent graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy at Kings Point*

Hey, I would like to stay anonymous, but I want to tell people what it is like to be a minority at Kings Point.

Being a minority at Kings Point is smiling and laughing off racism to fit in.

It’s biting your tongue to not be labeled as triggered, angry, or sensitive.

Kings Point is easily 50 years behind the times, and not only have they never discussed Pride month, the students complain when we had Black History Month.

Students would say: “when is White History Month?”

“When is Straight Pride Month?”

“Black History Month is bullshit”

“Oh, now there’s women’s month and the liberals are just making up anything now.”

(Yes, I’ve heard all these).

The racist jokes are even made by teachers. While I was in a knot-tying class a teacher who was weaving yellow and black line said to the class, “I’m from Alabama and we like to keep the darks from the lights down there.”

Kings Point only recently addressed racism because a video went viral of a drunk female lacrosse player holding a knife while saying “you could kill some N* words with these.”

At Kings Point the N-word is passed around casually. People felt so emboldened to say it around me, which I had to correct.

In 2018 a male student chanted "I hate N*words" (with hard R) on a bus ride back to campus after an event.

For his disciplinary hearing plenty of Midshipmen wrote him character statements saying that he wasn't racist—all white midshipmen.

When I asked them what happened no one could look me in face and tell me what was said... lol.

This is just the tip of the iceberg regarding racist incidents that have happened in recent years.

I’m a recent graduate.

I can’t imagine what older classes went through.

I Was Sexually Assaulted at SUNY Maritime, and Again on a Union Ship After I Graduated.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime College *

This is my SUNY Maritime story, and I feel bad sharing it because I feel that I put myself in a bad position and wasn’t being cautious.

I was drinking with classmates and we all passed out a dorm room. I woke up with my classmate’s hand down my pants—doing things. 

I quickly got up and left the room. I told another classmate what happened, and he just told me to be careful. I told a regimental office I trusted and all he asked me was did I punch him in the face. 

There was no Title IX at the time. No one to tell. I avoid the guy who did that to me to this day.

After I graduated I was working as an engineer on a ship when someone got into my room while I was sleeping.  He was trying to get into my bed. I fought him off that time, but I didn’t know who it was. 

When I got off the ship and went back to the union hall, I told the person there that l'm never going back to that ship ever again. 

They responded that they have been having a few problems with the ladies on that ship and asked me if I would be willing to file a report about what had happened.

That’s when it dawned on me that they already knew there was a problem on the ship and that women were being assaulted, and yet they wouldn't do anything about it. 

I was too scared at the time to report anything. At Maritime we were taught not to make trouble, to keep our heads down and to just do our job.

I don't think that way any more, but I have a serious distrust of this industry and the people in it.

I Was a Male Kings Point Cadet. I Have a Story From My First Ship During Sea Year That Still Makes Me Cringe.

*This account was submitted to MLAA in the summer of 2020 by the victim/survivor, a graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy*

I’m a man who went to Kings Point and graduated a few years ago. This is a story from Sea Year that still makes me cringe.

I was a cadet on my first ship (a containership), and had only been on the ship a few weeks. I was on the bridge with the second mate working on sea projects on the 2000 to 2400 watch. Towards the end of my watch, which was getting close to midnight, the Chief Steward called the bridge and begged the second mate to send me down to help him with the ship’s computer that he used for inventory.

The second mate said no, but the Steward kept begging him, so finally the second mate said yes. He told me to run down to the Steward’s office and quickly help him out.

I ran down to help, but when I arrived at his office no one was there. But the Steward had the door to his stateroom wide open. He saw me walk by and told me to come inside and help him. As soon as I walked into his room, he shut the door behind me.

The Steward was a 50 year old man, who was very crusty and gross looking. He told me to come over to his computer where he was sitting and then he flipped up the screen of his laptop and started to scroll through pictures of naked women and men. While he was doing this he told me that he was having a major issue because he had all these pictures of naked people but couldn't continuously flip through them. He had to open each picture individually.

The pictures were all men and woman that were 30 years older than me. After he saw that I didn't want any part of "helping him" he insisted that I stay while he took care of something. I almost threw up in his room, and eventually escaped. When I got back on the bridge I didn't tell anyone.

This was during the first weeks of a 100 day long hitch. It was after the sea year stand down, and I knew that it was important to get my sea time and to just try and forget about it. But almost every day going forward, when I would walk over to get my food, the Steward would come out of the kitchen, look at me with a really sexual face and make sex noises at me.

He even made a comment about controlling what happened with the food. I never shared this with anyone, and I would like it to stay anonymous. Maybe it's not even a big deal. But it really sucked to be in a position of having to eat the food from someone like this.

On My First Ship I Became So Afraid of Being Raped That I Slept With a Knife Under My Pillow. But I Reported Those Men, And Was Able To Obtain Restorative Justice.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim *

I have a story to share. I'm a Mariner who works on Tall Ships. I started my first offshore job with an entirely male crew when I was eighteen. I was isolated in international waters with a crew that "joked" about raping me where no one could hear me screaming. They spoke constantly about fucking whores, myself included. My captain repeatedly groped my ass and "complimented" my body.

I locked my cabin door every night of that voyage and slept with a knife under my pillow. I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty specifics of what they did to me. I don't like to talk about it.  And that's not the point of this story. 

When I got to shore after that grueling voyage, I quit that job and lied about the reason why. I was traumatized. I thought that I had no recourse; I had no empirical evidence of these attacks. After I quit, another young girl took my job. I was haunted by the reality that they would do this to her if i did nothing to stand up against the behavior. I had to do something to break the cyclical abuse. But I didn't think that anyone would believe me, and even if they did, I wasn't sure that reporting it would help.

I wasn’t sure of if they would retaliate: blackball me in the industry that I was just breaking into or attack me physically. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to cope unless I did everything that I could.

I ended up reporting what had happened to me to Tall Ships America, a regulatory body in the industry. I was the first person to ever formally report harassment to them, despite the fact that the issue is rampant. The directors of the organization acted as an intermediary between me and the nonprofit that owned the ship whose crew harassed me.

After talking over my options at length, I decided that I would opt for restorative justice instead of punitive action. I believed that getting those men fired would have just exported the harassment elsewhere and increased their resentment toward women. It may not make sense to you that I did not go after their licenses or jobs, but I stand by this decision everyday. I was looking for a holistic solution. 

For those who don't know, restorative justice is a tactic of crime prevention that repairs the harm done to a victim. It's a regimented discourse between victims, perpetrators, and several third party moderators that seeks to reconcile the crime committed. I wanted the fucker that harassed me to look me in the eyes while I told him how I was afraid he'd kill or rape me if I told him to get his hand off my ass. I wanted him to understand what he and his crew did to my spirit. I needed them to know that they could never break me.

Restorative justice wasn't everything that I hoped it would be (last minute I had to designate a proxy to read a statement I wrote and speak on my behalf) but it was the best case scenario for me. 

The captain and crew were put on a formal surveillance period. The ship's office checked in with the women that they had to work with to ensure their safety. Tall ships America used my case as a teaching tool to inform their sexual harassment workshop at their annual conference. I am one of a few mariners that was believed when she claimed that she endured egregious sexual harassment in the workplace. 

Moreover, I understand that I am one of the only mariners who has been delivered justice in a case of sexual misconduct. That is such a privilege. I'll tell you the secret of how I was able to bring them to justice: Women held all the relevant leadership positions to my case. The director from tall ships America to whom I reported the harassment is female. Her boss is female. The director of the nonprofit that owned the vessel whose crew harassed me is female. 

These women treated me with respect and sensitivity during this process even when my case tarnished their organizations' reputations. This is what leadership and responsibility looks like. So the moral of my story is that we need to promote women. We need to believe women. 

This would foster education and understanding within our industry so that we can repair the toxic workplace culture that we have become too accustomed to. To all my sisters at sea (and male allies), we've got to stick together and accept no one's bullshit.

Time's up for the misogynistic and racist fuckers that have dominated this industry for far too long. We will hold them accountable. Keep at it.

I Was 17 & Innocent When I Entered Kings Point. The Racist & Sexist Behavior I Witnessed Was Shocking, And The Way Victims Were Treated Was Horrible. This Is What Has Stuck With Me The Most.

*This post was submitted to MLAA by the author, a recent graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy*

I don't know that my story would be all that interesting, but I can tell you what has stuck with me most over the years: I was 17 and very innocent when I started at Kings Point so the behavior I witnessed was horribly shocking and scary to me at the time. Things that have stuck with me most: 

-Over the years guys opening the door when we were changing. 

-The affirmative action lessons always turning into every male saying women and minorities had no right to take spots from white guys who deserved to be at KP more.

-Blatant racist and sexist comments from students and even teachers who would make racist and sexist comments and promote the racist and sexist behavior of students. 

-Nowhere you could go if you actually needed to seek help without having the whole school know about it, or the solution to your problem sucking time and money that people couldn't afford, or students suffering ramifications within the regimental system simply for seeking help. 

-When I was an HR officer, people who did report sexual assaults and rapes told me they regretted coming forward due to the ramifications they faced.

Victims of sexual assault had no choice once they came forward. They had to pay for cabs to go to school mandated things like therapy, etc. and they had regimental backlash if they had been drinking when something happened. 

Most importantly, the victims of sexual assault would not give the name of their assailant because if you got a guy kicked out of school your peers would isolate you and it would have been a social death sentence. 

You need to have at least a few people behind you to survive KP. Victims would not report, not only out of fear of being punished by the school, but even more so out of fear that they would be punished by their fellow students. 

My personal experiences with sexual misconduct were more that I didn't know how to tell people they were crossing the line. Whenever I did stand up for myself people would say "it was all in fun," "he's just like that" or "if you don't like it you shouldn't be here." 

I have heard a few people say they are making small changes. Maybe it is changing a bit, but I can't really imagine it's that different in 3 years. It was a deeply imbedded culture of this behavior, which was often times reinforced out on ships during Sea Year. 

Now that I've graduated and I work in this industry, I run into these same beliefs but there are enough people who recognize that it is unacceptable and I believe some companies fear having such behavior being associated with them, which gives some people a means of combating it. 

At Kings Point the students don't have that means. They are living in such a tight bubble. They are young.  It's just a perfect storm for everything to fail when something goes wrong leaving victims with nowhere to turn. I tell people NOT to go to Kings Point. 

But the school taught me a lot. I grew up a great deal during my four years, but there is extensive room for growth at KP. 

Unfortunately, people will fight it. People will say non-sailors don't belong or don't deserve a place at the table. But KP can't stay in its own bubble forever. At some point the people in charge will have to institute change at every level and enforce it at every level until people understand they are serious about not letting students, staff, teachers or regimental staff get away with these behaviors. That's about all I have. 

—Recent Female USMMA Graduate

Sea Year Was Hell & Kings Point Did Nothing to Help Me

* Submitted to MLAA by the Victim, a graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy *

I'd like to stay anonymous. My struggle with shipboard harassment and assault began on my first ship with Maersk. I had been on my first ship for about a week, when I was going up a ladder in between cargo bays. From behind me, the bosun put both his hands around my ass and told me he was "giving me a boost." The Bosun continued harassing me throughout the voyage, watching me work out in the gym and making comments about my body as I worked out. He would constantly direct sexual comments towards me, and I would repeatedly tell him to stop.

Once, in the ship's computer room, he told me he was going to get me drunk and “have his way with me.” That's when I became pretty scared. Eventually I reported everything he had done to the Captain, and he was told to stay away from me. But he was not fired, and he never stopped. One night I came into the computer room and found the Bosun logged in to my Facebook account. He was sending disgusting sexual messages to my then boyfriend back home, pretending to be me. 

This totally freaked me out, and when I called him out, he pushed me into a corner, but I escaped. I reported him to the Captain again, and finally he got kicked off the ship. 

On the same Maersk ship, the 2nd Mate would grope me on the bridge, and when I confronted him, he told me point blank that if I reported him would "ruin my name in the industry." 

On that same ship I was told by an AB that I "deserved to be raped" and that I would eventually be raped because of my gym shorts. On this ship my Captain would not allow me to go ashore alone (because I was a woman),so he made me go ashore with creepy crew members. I could not go ashore alone, but I could go ashore with the AB who told me I would get raped. Thanks a lot, Captain. 

At a bar the AB got drunk and he grabbed me and forced himself on me. I had to punch him to get him off of me. My sea partner and I sent the "secret" code word to get off, but Captain EUGENE ALBERT told me and my sea partner that we were lying and making things up. He told us that if we weren't so friendly we wouldn't have had these problems. He said it was OUR FAULT. 

The only good thing about the ship was that after he fired the Bosun he ended up reporting the Bosun to the Coast Guard and I had a meeting with the USCG back at KP. They told me I would go to court for it all, but then all of a sudden the case dropped off and I lost all contact. It was clear that Captain Albert and the USMMA has forced the USCG to drop the case. 

Fast forward to second sailing. I was on a Military Sealift Command Vessel where I had numerous issues with harassment and assault.

The 1st issue was with a 3rd Engineer, who was not even in my department. While he was drinking beer on the pier near the ship he began making comments about my breasts. He said the only reason females belong at sea is to "sexually please the male sailors" and then he walked up to me and straight up groped my breasts with both hands. This incident made its way to the Chief Mate, and the 3rd Engineer was thankfully kicked off the ship. But that did not end the sexual harassment. Sexual notes were slid under my door constantly by the crew.

The worst experience was going out in the Philippines. I went out with about 6 crew members. At a bar I was pretty drunk, and I went to the bathroom. When I came back out there was only one crew member left, and I told him we needed to go back to the ship. Instead, he ripped my phone out of my hand and gripped my wrist and would not let me go. He literally DRAGGED me to a cheap motel room and trapped me inside, refusing to let me leave. Pedestrians who saw me fighting him as he dragged me down the street did nothing to help.

Eventually, I fell asleep on the floor of the motel room and woke up to him trying to claw my shorts off of me. Claw is not an exaggeration. I had deep cuts on my lower back and legs. He also tried to take my shirt off to take pictures of me. I had to aggressively fight to get him off of me, and stayed awake in my inebriated state until he fell asleep. When he did fall asleep, I grabbed my things and sprinted out of the room. I never spoke of that night to anyone because I was so scared. 

Back on the ship the man who tried to rape me started talking about it to the crew, saying I "led him on," and he told everyone that we had already hooked up before that night, but on that night I just wasn't feeling it. They believed his lies about trying to rape me in a cheap motel in the Philippines. 

This is a disgusting industry. I've had other bad experiences, but you get the gist of what I've been through. I sincerely hope the United States Merchant Marine Academy and the U.S. maritime industry change. Right now they are no place for women.

I Was Forced Out of My Job by Shipboard Sexual Harassment and Discrimination.

* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim *

I’m thick skinned, in no way sensitive, and I’ve endured a lot in my life. My career at sea has been pretty good to me, mostly because of the people I’ve met along the way. I’ve never been sexually assaulted at work, thank God. And my heart goes out to everyone who has had to experience that pain. But the harassment and sexism that are so ingrained in this industry eventually caught up with me and compelled me to quit my job. 

     I shipped out for 2 years on the same boat. We had two captains who worked staggered schedules. The one captain was really great. The other captain and his chief mate were a completely different story. They were both overtly sexist and racist. 

    The bigoted captain was a total asshole. He told me to my face that he couldn’t control his thoughts about me, and therefore he made up a bunch of rules I had to follow. I was required to wear shorts that went past my knees. I was not allowed to work out in the boat’s gym because I was going to “scare the guys away.” He told me that it was inappropriate for me to be in his presence because it was disrespectful to his wife. And he told me that he preferred brunettes to blondes, and didn’t know why everyone likes blondes (his wife was a blonde and I’m brunette.) This captain also told me that I needed to stay in my room when I was off watch, because everything I wore “was cute” (despite the fact that I only wore granny panties and men’s clothes and never wore makeup when I would go on hitch).

    After hitch I would put mascara on and a nice shirt to fly home in. When I did, he made comments about me trying to “look cute” for him. I didn’t know how to respond, so all I said was “I try to look nice at the airport because you never know which celebrity you could meet.” But eventually I even stopped putting on mascara and nice shirts until I actually arrived at the airport. 

    The sexual harassment escalated to a point where I was so uncomfortable that I would eat dinner in my room. If I walked into the galley and saw the captain I’d leave because I didn’t want to be alone with him. He made my job really hard. 

    I took a lot of pride in my work. I know I’m not the best or smartest, but I definitely put in the time and effort. He never appreciated my effort, and would purposely find things for me to do that were obscure and difficult. 

     His chief mate was another problem. The chief mate made comments about “wet t-shirt contests” to me, and about how I better not put tampons on the shopping list because I need to be responsible and bring them myself. 

    Our chief engineer was black and the chief mate would say racist things to him. The first incident I remember is when my chief mate started calling the black chief engineer a “bitch.” Then on grub runs the chief mate would ask him if he wanted them to pick up “fried chicken and watermelon” for him. There were other things racist things he did, but that’s his story. I don’t want to put words in his mouth. 

     The harassment I was experiencing got to a point where I was so uncomfortable that it was almost unbearable. Everyone else saw what the captain was doing to me, but none of them would say anything. They would just joke about it in private and apologize to me for him. It got so bad that I started to get panic attacks while flying to work.

    The final straw came one day when I was off watch and working out. We were at anchor and the chief mate was on watch. We started dragging anchor and drifting because the chief mate wasn’t paying attention. The emergency bell kept ringing in the engine room, so I left the gym and ran down to help the engineer on watch. We put the compressor back together and were able to emergency start the engines. I helped save the day. 

     The chief engineer was proud of his guys, and it was like “Happy day.” But the captain lost his shit. He wasn’t pissed that the 2nd in command was negligent during watch and put the boat in danger. He was furious that I wore shorts into the engine room to help save the day! The chief engineer stood up for me, and he and the captain had a blowout that almost turned into a fist fight—over me wearing shorts in the engine room during an emergency. After their fight the chief engineer left the boat, and I decided there was no way I could continue working for that captain.

    I wanted to transfer to another boat, but I needed the captain’s signature for the transfer. On the transfer form I put that I wanted to learn another engineering system, and there was a boat that needed an engineer and they had requested me. The captain denied my request for a transfer. He told me that he didn’t want to let me go. 

     Yes, I could have gone to the office for help, and they probably would have helped me. But I was afraid to do that. In this industry all that a captain needs to do is call up his buddies and say “she’s going to be a problem” and suddenly you’re black-listed in the fleet. I felt like my only option was to quit the toxic job and leave the company, which is what I did.

While I Was a Student at SUNY Maritime, the Worst Sexual Harassment I Experienced was from a Fellow Cadet Aboard a Commercial Ship. He Was a Kings Pointer.

*This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime College.*

Since I followed this account, I’ve been questioning whether or not I should keep my mouth shut or share my experiences with sexual harassment at SUNY Maritime and in the industry. With more pressure being put on SUNY in the past few days I figured it was time to speak up. 

I’m a 2020 graduate. I was sexually harassed when I was a cadet on a commercial shipping vessel by a Kings Pointer. It started small. He would come into my room without knocking, try to hug me and touch me any chance he got. 

About a month into my cadet shipping when I was in the shower he let himself into the bathroom. Despite the fact that I wrapped the curtain around myself and yelled at him to leave, he insisted he had to tell me something important. 

I felt so stupid. I would’ve never thought that I had to lock the bathroom door. My roommate was coming back to the room and we didn’t even have our room key, so I didn’t lock the main door to the room. But I had already spent every day with these cadets for the past month. You knock on a door and if someone doesn’t answer, you leave it alone. I still feel so dumb for leaving that door unlocked. 

I hadn’t yet realized that I really had to protect myself from my fellow cadets. Later that week when we were in port, he got me alone and pinned me up against a wall. He refused to let me go until I kissed him. 

The following night, I was in a bar with some crew members. He came in, sat next to me and would not stop touching me. When he got up to go to the bathroom the bartender asked me if I needed help and if I wanted her to ask him to leave. I said no. 

How could I ever stand up to someone I live next door to? There were multiple other Kings Point cadets on my ship. I could only imagine how they would make my time remaining on that ship absolutely miserable if I had gotten their buddy kicked off for sexual harassment. 

After that night at the bar, a crew member from my department saw what this KP cadet was doing to me and told my supervisor. I would’ve never done this for myself but I’m so thankful for these two men. They stood up for me for the rest of my cadet shipping. They made sure that I rarely had to come into contact with my harasser. 



When I came back I told some of my closest friends. They asked why I didn’t tell the title IX coordinator at SUNY. At the time, the woman who ran our title IX was the laughingstock of the school. I knew other girls that had gone to her. Somehow during the investigative interviews that the coordinator conducted, the whole school ended up knowing every detail of what happened. That is not what I wanted for myself. 

What I’m trying to get at here is that most cadets from SUNY Maritime are not comfortable reporting instances of sexual assault and harassment. Even the staff gossips, there’s no one to keep your story private. I really hope this changes with the new title IX coordinator. 



As for that KP cadet, I never experienced harassment that bad at SUNY. Sure, I had guys creep on me at Paddy’s. Some guys on campus blatantly disrespect women in roles of authority. I’ve seen men that would completely ignore a woman’s presence. But I had never met a man with such complete and utter disregard for a woman’s right to say “no” until I came into contact with a Kings Pointer. 

That’s not to say that SUNY doesn’t have the same issue, both schools need to look long and hard at the cadets that they’re pumping out into the industry. 

Cadets that got away with sexual harassment and assault at an academy go on for the rest of their careers thinking that they can always get away with it. 

I really like what you’re doing with this account. This is a forum that the maritime industry absolutely needs and I’m glad someone got around to airing out all the terrible things that happen. I don’t know if my story will help anyone or anything, but thank you for giving me a place to write about my experience.

When My Fellow Military Sealift Command Cadets Casually Boasted About Raping Another Cadet, I Stood-by & Did Nothing. Don’t Be A Bystander Like I Was. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up.

*This story was submitted to MLAA through our website’s anonymous contact form. MLAA does not know the identity of the author, who referred to himself pseudonymously as “Bobby Bystander.”

I'm not really sure if this is even my story to tell, but it's been sitting wrong with me for the past 4 years. I was a cadet on an MSC vessel with an absurd number of both cadets and junior officers. We had cadets from 4 of the academies, a majority of which were male. 

On the weekends, one of the third mates would usually rent out a penthouse somewhere in town and throw parties. The cadets would spend the night ashore, and typical cadet hijinks would follow, but generally nothing too serious. All was well until one day during lunch. I was sitting at the table when one of the SUNY folks casually said "Yeah [redacted] strait up raped [female cadet] last night at the party."

It was so deadpan and nonchalant I thought it was some sick joke. They picked up on the fact that I was uncomfortable. He looked at me and said "Oh, Bobby here thinks you're joking. No, she was straight up passed out and he dragged her into the bathroom and did his thing."

I was repulsed, but I justified my inaction by telling myself this was a joke.  I had never even talked to this other cadet, and I just wanted to do my thing and go home. But reading these accounts on your Instagram has made it clear that some academies are better at sexual assault training and awareness than others, and I'm blessed to have come from one of the schools that gave a shit about it. But even then, I froze.

I feel awful that I was complacent in carrying on this sick tradition in our industry of turning the other way. That poor woman acted different after that weekend, and on top of that, one of the mates gave her a pink pair of shoes, saying "I really like you, and I think you should wear these around."

That poor young woman was getting it from all sides and no one did a damn thing to help. I'm not sure she ever said anything, or if this rape ever actually happened (but judging by how she changed, I'd wager it did). After witnessing this bullshit, now that I'm a grown up and an officer, I'm sure as hell not going to tolerate it going forward. I'm not sure there is anything I can do at this point in this situation, other than share the story, but to any other allies and non-shitbags, and up and coming mariners, I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir, but don't be a bystander when this shit happens. Do not be afraid because you are young.

Like our friend here running this page is investigating, being blackballed largely seems like a myth. It is a myth used to scare mariners from reporting misconduct and assault. I've never been unemployed, there will always be other jobs for mariners, but your shipmates deserve to work in a safe environment.